By Adejumoke Adesanmi
It was my first relationship and I gave it all that I had. It was one of the best thing on earth when it started, it felt so nice to be loved by a man. People are quick to love and admire everything they see that looks good, it is no wonder our friends and relatives were glad seeing us moving together. They however did not know the cost I had to pay inside. This was one of the reason I found it hard to let go on time. I didn’t want to face a lot of questions from peeps and I had no answer for the question I was left with; ‘where will I start from?’
How do I explain how sincere and how committed I was to the relationship? I really don’t know. It was the first thing I wanted to wake up to and the last thing I go to bed with. I was running my duty like a dear woman in her 30th year of marriage. He loved me, if I can call it that but his nature of not being able to say ‘NO’ to anything in skirt, well that is a ‘NO NO’ for me. You know how dangerous it is when the man in question started finding pleasure in my sisters, my cousins or my friends.
Sometime ago, I travelled out of the country for a course and I returned unannounced. This wasn’t my first time, I had made unannounced visits. On one occasion, I came home to meet a friend of ours at his place on ‘her second weeks of visit’. No wonder Oga wasn’t sounding nice on phone. “I am sorry” was the lyrics I had to dance to.
My unannounced return from this particular trip exposed his over 3months secret affair with another friend. Oh! This time, I caught him red-handed; he made a little effort to deny it. We argued, we shouted, we fought and it got physical, I was hospitalized. That was it. I took a very strong decision of not going back no matter how sweet his pleas would be.
I thought everything that will end greatly was meant to be rough at the start. I was carried away with what people would say. I had the belief that women needed to exercise a lot of patience in order to enjoy their relationships. Well, you have to use your brain with all that, else you might have to pay with your dear life. Love is a very beautiful thing, when both parties are in it together.
All these and lots more are what have defined the woman I have become.
I fell in love, I suffered in love, my heart was broken and it changed my entire life.