Tag Archives: relationships

06Feb/16

DEAR FRIENDZONED LADY #LETTERSOFTHEHEART

Dear Lady,

The emotions that flow between us is great when it concerns the matter of the heart. I’m always there for you through thick and thin, rain and sunshine, night and day, bad days and ’em legendary bad days.

I pride in the attention given to me, the comfort-ability you enjoy with me, the sincerity, the hidden emotions, the genuine laughter and rants, the movie outings, the dinner hangouts……but then you also enjoy the moments. Them oshofree things.

Now things seem to be going well and you expect me to pull the trigger of proposal but the bomb of “we are just friends” drops. It drops in a subtle way, with the effect not being too harsh or you feeling too bad or bitter.

Withdrawal from me will be so damning. Getting closer is a no go area too, maintaining the friendship tempo becomes a great deal. Then me, #YorubaDemon  *evil grin* gets closer, makes you feel comfortable, gets you to the other side of trust again. But then the unexpected happens. You fall in love with another guy. You start to assess and compare but I encourage you to go for it. And I pull back.

Here’s the beauty and joy of the whole process; you were never lonely. You were happy. I kept you looking radiant.

That’s my joy as a friendzoner.

Remember to say this PRAYER for me:

“Cheerful giver of love, bae of the baeless, boo of the booless, locate me and turn my life around till I meet that FRIENDZONED girl who will capture my heart so I can finally channel all these love to her.”

Regards.

Tobbie

05Feb/16

DEAR DAUGHTER IN-LOVE #LETTERSOFTHEHEART

A letter to my son’s wife on her wedding day.

My beautiful daughter,

I am so blessed to receive you into our home. Since before my son was born, I dreamed of the lady who would one day win his heart and be the mother of his children. You are an answer to my many many prayers. During my childbearing years, I always longed to have a daughter, however, God blessed our home with three wonderful sons. Your coming into our home is my long-awaited answer to that prayer.

I want you to know that we love and respect you. When we give you our son today, we will not take him back. He is yours and yours for life. Our family doesn’t believe in divorce nor will we ever support the break up of your home, regardless of the cause. We will not interfere in the affairs of your home, however, we will always be available should you need guidance or a sounding board.

By the Grace of God, we believe that we raised our son to be a good husband and father. We trained him to always respect women and to be a Godly example. Should he misbehave in any way, know that you can come to us and we will be happy to set him straight, without taking sides. We are committed to the success of your home. While we avail ourselves to you, please know that the truest source of strength and wisdom that you need as a wife is found only in God. I urge you to develop your relationship with Him further and seek Him for daily guidance. The power of prayer cannot be overemphasized.

I learned a lot from my Mother in Love and have a very good relationship with her. I sincerely hope that with time, you will grow to love me like I love her and that we will have a beautiful relationship.

Please take good care of my son. He is now your responsibility and no longer mine. He is a gentle and caring soul and needs to be handled with care. If you need any tips on how to get through to him, I’m always available to share with you all that I know.

He will love you more than he loves me and I’m ready to accept that. I want to see him further develop into the great man that he is called to be. Please be faithful to him, protect his heart and give him all of your love. He has been mine for so many years. I have done my best as a mother to raise him, but today, I hand him over to you. He is now yours to love, cherish, nurture and protect. He is the best gift I have to give. He is the product of my life’s work and prayers. May God grant you wisdom to cherish him, even more than his father and I have.

God bless you as you start this new journey, one that will last a lifetime. Congratulations on your marriage and may you experience all of the joys that come with marrying the love of your life.

With love and sincerity,

Laurie Idahosa

Your husband’s mother

@IdahosaLaurie

www.laurieidahosa.com

04Feb/16

Dear Heart #LettersOfTheHeart

To the Tiny sparkling stars in my
Little world

Dear heart,

I sit in this lonely room of mine,in a strange new world. The thought of you in my heart brightens my day and lift me up as i rewrite my vows to you. To the love that will bind our hearts as one.
I vow to love you to the end of time.
I promise you a million years of love and loyalty.
A minute after eternity my love will remain.
I promise you my life. I’m gonna love you like i’m gonna loose you.
With grey hair,our love shall blossom like it will be from the very beginning.
I shall show you a whole new world.
we shall make love under the moon and our stars shall rest in the eyes of our children.
A million words i will pen down if i write to the rhythm of my heart which is an undescribable feeling that tickles me from within. We shall conquer the world as one heart and plant our love in the sand of time as a reminder of our great love.
in an afterlife you will still be mine. Living without you shall be like a punishment and i will show you to the world in your finest form.
I shall protect your ego and take pride in honouring you.
The earth shall celebrate our love. I will follow you to the end. But for now,i will wait for this great love story,for every minute is worth it. I love you.

Your Heart
Future Wife

03Feb/16

Dear He Who Must Not Be Named #LettersOfTheHeart

From the lips of the ex-side chick

“I Love You.”

It hurt so much to have these three words at the tip of my lips for so long but I could never tell you. Because you were not mine to love. Well, not in the way I wanted. *sigh*. I thought I could never get over you. I was the stalker side chick….always wondering when the next fight would happen. I made friends with her friends, her family members, everybody I knew who knew her automatically became my friend. Social Media became the bane of my life because all I saw were happy pictures of both of you. I had the happy façade of someone who couldn’t care less if you loved me or not, but deep down, oh deep down, there was that feeling of defeat, that desperate want of acceptance.

I would do anything for you.
Continue reading

01Feb/16

Dear George #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear George,

So, I had this big plan for Valentine’s Day. I am not particularly sure if it was for last year or this one but one thing I was certain of was that I wanted you in it. But, before I forget my manners, which is almost typical of me these days, how are you doing? (I am sure you are fine; and this is as literally as it comes.)
Back to my plan, I was going to ‘break the ice’ because this thing they say about the unsaid words being the ones that hurt is true. I have had to live with the words echoing in my head seeking for an avenue to be heard. Just wanting to say – I loved you.
Was I wrong not to have said it earlier? Or maybe it was for the best. I knew the signs…I was sure they meant something. Eye contacts. Brushing of palms against each other. Bumping into each other. Accidental locking of heads (those ones did hurt). Long talks. Long walks. You’d tell me about your fears and frustrations and I’d always be there to tell you that it would be fine. I would always be there to make it fine. I saw beneath the perfect guy everyone knew. I saw the vulnerable one…the one afraid of being hurt…the one who’d let me see it all. I knew I completed you. This sure had to count for something…yeah?
Then the long silence came. You’d shut me out with no reason leaving me with questions that would never get answered. I’d probe myself to figure out what I might have done wrong and I always arrived at the same answer…nothing. I loved you so much that the silence and spaces between us became toxic for me.
Days went by and I slowly started to find some strength. I crawled back into my hole and tried to heal…just when I was about to shut the door, you’d poke your head half-in with a smile so warm that it’d sweep my fears and pain away and I’d forget that your silence once made my heart bleed. I was not surprised with your return because you always returned when I was at my lowest. Did you love seeing me broken?
But then, it’s you George…so I knew I’d always need that hole again for the next silence because it felt okay to hurt for you.
So I wondered why you preferred to have your walls and heart guarded while I let mine down. Darling, I could have built walls too.
I wondered why I was the one who felt vulnerable even though you were the one who told your fears.
I wondered why you’d push me away so much that hurting was no longer a solution for me. I had to run away for my own sanity.
Maybe you could have said something and not let us grow apart…
But then, we ran out of words and then I ran out of love and then we ran out of us…
We lost ourselves and I lost my strength…and I lost the will to keep holding on so tight to nothing.
So we became strangers once again and all I was left with were the ‘what ifs’…
What if we were not so proud and exploited the spaces between us into a love so pure that we only could understand?
What if you didn’t act as though you were the only one who could make decisions for us?
What if you didn’t make it hard for me to love you?
What if I never bottled my anger and pains in fear of losing you forever?
What if we were not a tale of bitter-sweet symphonies?
What if you had shown me that you loved me too?
I could not continue with the ‘what ifs’ because there are no justification for loosing yourself in the process of saving another. So I learnt not to hurt again because there is no reason why anyone should choose this kind of love. I bore my scars and fought to mend my broken soul. My walls came back up. My heart fully guarded once again.
Never again would I let me down.
George, a lot has changed since I last saw you and I have come to realise that I was in love with my idea of you. I’m sorry I expected too much from you.
Anyway, I am proud of the woman I am becoming…and no, I won’t be waiting for you.

Not yours,
Tomi Adesina

17Dec/15

7 Things I’d Consider Before Asking Seyi Shay To Marry Me

Before we get started, I have to make two things clear.

  1. This article is not really about Seyi Shay.
  2. In spite of what you may believe, I have a shot with Seyi Shay.

Now we have those clear, let’s move on.

Seyi Shay like most superstars of her caliber are considered the most eligible bachelorettes any guy could have. This may be right for a lot of guys but maybe not every guy. Maybe not Lord Josh. It’s not a slam dunk, I’ll still have to consider a lot.

Here are 7 things I’d consider before giving Seyi the ring.

Continue reading

09Dec/15

To hear him say I LOVE YOU

“Mom, you can’t just leave! The party is for you and Dad.”

I ignored Deola and headed for my car.

“Mommy, come on.” Tunde joined Deola. “You guys have been married for thirty six years, can’t you just let this slide?”

I kept my eyes on the road. Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn’t now. I did not want them to see the tears in my eyes. My children always thought their mother was tough. I was not ready to blow that cover after thirty five years.

“Mommy, how about Debola and Dunsin? What do I tell them happened to their grandma?” Tunde said and I stopped.

I loved my children but I adored my grandchildren. I considered wiping my tears and going back to the party. I shook my head, it wasn’t worth it. I resumed my march to the car.

“Glory.” I heard his voice call my name. “I love you.”

I wanted to go on but I couldn’t. I stopped and began to sob. Aloud.

***

EARLIER THAT DAY

I love parties. At least I used to love them. My husband and I attended a lot of parties in our day, it seemed like ‘our day’ was long gone now. But it was Christmas and my children – Tunde and Deola had planned a special party was us. My old party instincts kicked in and I was up early to get some things ready.

“Where are you going so early?” My husband stirred on the bed.

“The party is today. Remember?”

“What party?”

“Our Christmas party, the one our children are throwing us.”

“That was today?”

I did not respond. I left the room and very soon was lost in preparations. A few hours later, the kids arrived.

“Where is Dad?” Deola asked.

“I’m not sure. Have you checked the room?”

“No, I’ll just see him later. I can’t believe you have been married for thirty six years.” She said.

“You better believe it.”

“Thirty six years is a long time.”

“Well, when you are committed to somebody, it doesn’t matter how long it is, you’ll stay.”

“The power of love.”

“Love? That’s minor. It’s the commitment that counts. The things you people call love – dates, flowers, all that rubbish is not what matters. Your father has not taken me out since our first wedding anniversary but still I’m here.”

“What! Really?”

“Yeah, that stuff doesn’t matter.” I said. Was I being truthful?

We continued our work in silence. A few minutes later my husband walked into the kitchen looking cross.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Do you know what time it is?”

“No, what time is it?”

“I’ve been waiting for my breakfast for hours. Are you planning to starve me?”

“Come on Dad.” Deola said. “We have been busy. The party starts in a few hours.”

“Maybe he has forgotten about the party already.” I said and went back to my work.

Deola ushered him out of the kitchen and promised him food in five minutes. He was so selfish. He did not even care that I was doing a lot of work, all he wanted was his food. A strange longing coursed through me. Maybe I wanted more than commitment.

***

A FEW MINUTES TO THE PARTY.

“We have sewed this agbada for weeks, why are you doing like this?” I looked at my husband, ashamed of the terrible thoughts going through my mind.

“Look Glory, you know that I don’t wear anko. All the years of our marriage we never wore the same material, why will we start now?” He said.

“I didn’t pick the clothes, the children did. Won’t you just do this to make the children happy?”

“The children…anytime you want to get your way, you always invoke the children.”

“Why won’t I invoke the children when you seem to care about them more than you do me?”

He paused. “That’s not true. Why will I still be married to you if I don’t care about you?”

I wanted opened my mouth to reply him but I changed my mind. I spread the agbada on the bed.

“That’s it on the bed but if you insist you won’t wear it, the blue one is in the wardrobe.” I said and walked out of the room.

The party was already starting outside. Deola saw me and came over.

“We are waiting for you and Dad.” She said.

“We will be with you soon.”

She was about walking away when I saw her ring finger.

“You changed your ring?” I asked.

She smiled and said. “Yeah I did. Bayo bought me another one. Did a lot of drama when giving it to me, it was beautiful.”

“I’m sure it was. When did this happen?”

“Our seventh anniversary.”

I sighed and looked away.

“Are you okay mom?” Deola asked.

“Yes, I am. I’ll go get your father. Tell Tunde and his wife, we will be with you soon.”

She nodded and walked away but I stayed where I was. I tried to empty my mind of all the negative thoughts that were flowing through it. I had to be happy today, at least for the children. I heard a sound behind me and turned around to see my husband. He wore the blue agbada.

“I can’t believe you did not wear the clothe they made for us.” I said.

“We have talked about this already. Let’s just go for the party.” He said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why? You are the one who has been talking about this party all day. Why are you asking why we are going?”

“I know why I’m going, why are you going?”

He looked at me confused.

“This party is celebrating us a couple. Are we a couple?” I asked.

“Glory, please don’t do this. The children are waiting.”

“The children? That’s what this is about for you? The children?”

“We have been married for over three decades, of course it’s not just about the children.”

“What is it then? You love me?”

He laughed. “We are already knocking on the doors of seventy. Is it now we will be doing lovey lovey?

I shook my head and stormed into the bedroom. I removed my gele and dropped my bag. I picked my purse and the car keys and left the room.

“What happened to your head tie?” My husband said when he saw me. “Where are you going?”

“What do you care? You children are there, go and have your party with them.”

“This party is about us. If you’re not there, we can’t have the party.”

I stopped and faced him.

“Remember how I asked you to let us renew our vows after our tenth anniversary? Hold a little ceremony?”

“Yes. I did not agree and see, twenty six years later and we are still together.”

“Deola showed me her new ring today, she got it for their seventh anniversary.”

“You think her husband loves her more than I love you because he got her a ring?”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

I turned away from him and walked out.

***

BACK TO THE PRESENT

“Mommy, how about Debola and Dunsin? What do I tell them happened to their grandma?” Tunde said

I continued my march to the car.

“Glory.” I heard his voice call my name. “Please don’t go, I love you.”

I wanted to go on but I couldn’t. I stopped and began to sob. Aloud. My husband had not told me he loved me in thirty years.

He walked to me and held me.

“I’m sorry Glory.”

I leaned unto his shoulder, it was a great feeling to be held again. I did not know how much I missed it.

“I love you, as much as I did thirty six years ago.”

“And it took you all these years say so?”

“I thought you knew.”

“I knew but I wanted to hear it from you.”

“How about we use this Christmas party to renew our vows?”

I smiled. “Does it mean, I’ll get a new ring too?”

“Well yeah, you’ll have one before the end of the day.”

“Does it also mean we will wear our anko?”

He laughed. “Yeah.”

“Are you serious?”

“No. I really don’t like that stuff.”

“I guess, I can compromise on that.”

“I love you, a lot.”

“I love you a lot too.”

I didn’t care for much for the ceremony or the ring – I was a grandmother for crying out loud. I was just glad to hear my husband tell me he loves me again. It was the best Christmas gift I could ever get.