Tag Archives: Love

Dear Natalie #LettersOfTheHeart

( a letter from the past, to be read by my ‘Cupcake’ on the 15th of February, 2016)

Dear Natalie,
Forgive me but I might get my tenses wrong since I’m writing in the present as though the future me is talking about the past that is still future to this present, and am expecting you to relate to this from the future to both yesterdays past and my current present which is an even further past from when you should be reading this.
Correct tense or not, my love for you will be eternal, ( except you force me to eat Amala, yes you know I hate Amala that much, in sickness and in health, but not with Amala, No no no NO)

If you’re reading this on the 15th you’ll know I proposed yesterday, valentines day. I’ve tried to imagine a future without you, it would be quite dreadful for me, so I hope you said YES.

Since the beginning of 2015, (yes, 2015) I’d been researching engagement rings, ( yes! I’ve been ready to put a ring on it for a loooong time ). At first I felt like there were so many options to choose from; style, what metal, gem type, cut. Totally spoilt for choice, it was like there were as many rings as there were women. Then it hit me, out of all the women in this world, I fell madly in love with you, Natalie, it amazes me just how happy I am to be with you, to have you, to share my heart and my world with you. I couldn’t just pick a ring, I had to find the right one.

Now I believe I’ve picked an engagement ring that captures my deepest feelings for you. It’s a handmade silver Celtic Claddagh ring with an emerald gemstone; just like you it’s uniquely crafted, silver so it will  match your skin flawlessly, the claddagh ring design symbolises the core of our relationship; our crazy Friendship, how beautifully we love each other, and our steadfast Loyalty to each other through stormy weather, plus the emerald gemstone is in your favourite colour, no boring white for you babe.

Right now I’m writing from Minna, Nigeria, and you’re all the way up north in Bristol, UK, I know you were expecting me on the 18th of February, but I fibbed, I’m planning to sneak over to Bristol, prank our friends, surprise you and propose on Valentines day. I know both of us are not great fans of relationship clichés, but I felt this had to be an exception. We’ve been friends since 2012 and courting since 2013, but this will be the first valentines day when we’d actually be together.

The long distance hasn’t been easy for us, my whole being constantly aches to be with you, every day without you I’m like a husk, simply moving, longing and waiting. But somehow, against crazy odds, we’ve made it work through your resilient and patient effort. I owe you big time, for this I pray that God will reward you ( or us) with 8 children; 4 Troublesome boys and 4 Beautiful girls. May you not resist the Lords Blessing! ACCEPT IT In Jesus Name!

Babe, I’ve missed so much about you.
I’ve missed seeing you shake your head at my stupid jokes, how you roll your eyes at my ridiculous behaviour, the blush in your cheeks when I tease you pointlessly.
I’ve missed the warmth that fills my heart everytime you smile lovingly at me, hearing you laugh with me, how you dote over me. I’ve missed watching you sing. I’ve missed holding your hand while we pray together.

I could write all day about what I miss about you, but unfortunately we’ve got a few ‘eavesdroppers’ on this letter, and they have lives to get back to, cars to drive, and road traffic to dodge.

I want to spend the rest of my days with you, be a loving husband to you, raise and nurture 8 wonderful children with you, create and share new experiences, invent family traditions, have an awesome life with you.

Yes of course we have our differences, but we’ve recognized, understood and each compromised for them. We’ve got shared dreams and desires for the future, we support, complement and have faith in each other. We should tackle the world together.
Ever since I knew the depths of your heart I had to ask this question; every moment, every step, every breath has been leading inevitably, irreversibly and unquestionably, towards this one question. You still have a choice to make, but I have no choice, it has to be you. But I must ask, I must hope and I must pray. So..
(Deep breath)

Natalie Ajani, will you be my wife?

 

PS. She said “YES”! Be nice, drop a “Congratulations” in the comment section.

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14Feb/16

Dear Amanda #LettersOfTheHeart

Some people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in what they are.

Dear Amanda,

It’s been a while I wrote you a letter, not since you made me write you letters in Yoruba. The effort put into those words is enough for a 100 letters and that’s probably why you’re just now receiving another letter from me.

I had long learned to write down words my heart really wanted to say which my lips couldn’t utter and today I share those words with you. Some of the words are in pictures and even though they are not words I wrote, I have kept them (some for over 5 years) because they expressed what was in my heart aptly at the times I saw them. They gave voice to my very deep thoughts and emotions.

Once upon a cold December morning, I saw you for maybe the 100th time; a graceful young lady who until that moment was just another girl I saw around. But that morning, something was different. You were like a diamond, glittering and catching my attention everywhere I turned. I got hooked forever. Or not.

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Your beauty was simple yet ravishing, your carriage relaxed yet confident and your character gentle yet captivating. You became the dream, the mission was clear.

 

 

In retrospect, the lines below should have been my first line to you. You know I have wished severally that I could meet you for the first time all over again so I can say these words to you;

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Anyone who’s ever fallen in love would know that expressions are really hard when you’re truly in love but I tried to express myself every way I could, sometimes the expressions were successful, at other times, they were woeful.

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It was like we were in a maze; seeking to love and seeking to be loved but unable to meet those needs. I couldn’t understand why. Loving could be so simply complicated

 

 

I loved that you were different but I tried in vain to fully understand the thought pattern of women

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This is the best way I could describe it. It was like I fell in love with a beautiful flower in full bloom with petals soft and tall like the Iroko tree, smelling like vanilla chocolate but was not really chocolate because it was made of flour and it wasn’t actually a flower.

Yeah, I was that confused.

The many little pretty things you did had taken up all of my heart. You say I taught you to give but I don’t know how true that is ’cause I know you are a black belt in giving. When life puts several hundred miles between us, I like that you were always ready to give me several hours of your days on end in phone conversations; that’s one of the little things that filled up my heart.

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Like music stopping in the middle of a dance, the fire burned out. They say we forgot to stoke the fire. I asked how we were supposed to stoke the fire of love and there were a hundred responses but no answer.

 

We had to find our own answers. It took a while but we found our answer, and yeah baby, I chose you yesterday, I choose you today and I will choose you for the next thousand, thousand tomorrows.

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We found our rhythym, you began to laugh like me and I could anticipate your next sigh, I knew when you were unsure and you could hear all the words I chose not to say. A steady fire had ignited in us both.

 

“Oh, I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her

She gives me love and affection
Baby, did I mention
You’re the only girl for me
No, I don’t need a next one
Mama loves you too
She thinks I made the right selection
Now all that’s left to do
Is just for me to …”

(Cheerleader -Omi)

Some people are beautiful, in looks, in what they say, and in what they are. You my lover are beautiful

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13Feb/16

Dear Morenike #LettersOfTheHeart

A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head when I think of all the years I wanna be with you”

That’s the songs that pops in my head whenever, wherever I set my eyes on you. I just wanna get on one knee and do it once and for all. The God-honest truth is I really dunno what I like/love about you. Maybe it’s the smile, your beauty, your sexy body; I really dunno. What exactly attracted me to you? All I know is I saw you once and I liked you. I tried to get you off my mind but I couldn’t, I was completely “love struck”. A couple of months later “bang bang bang”, you became ‘Mrs Black’ queen of my heart”.
I’ve being with a couple of girls in the short time I’ve spent in this life – good relationships in fact that I thought would lead to something great, but at the end of the day, they all left. Yours is the longest relationship I have ever been in and I definitely want more years with you.
We are always disagreeing, always making each other flare up and asking questions like “how did I even end up with you? but deep down we are sure that we are the best thing to ever happen to each other. And despite all the relationship “experiences” I’ve had; with you I’m a novice. You just make me wonder.
Baby I sure to God am hooked on you, you are my fix. I used to convince myself that I’m not the kinda guy to just “love up” and then make a lady “the beginning and the end” of my entire existence but that changed with you. You definitely make me wanna be a better person, always trying to bring out the best in me. Even if it means you have to sometimes be naughty/nasty about it.
You know I’m a man of many words always having something to say, but here I am finding it difficult to use my words appropriately to express the way I feel about you and how you make me feel. It took me three days to put this together and I still haven’t expressed myself the way I have it in my head. I honestly can’t explain how I feel or what exactly is the thing(s) I like/love about you. Baby you’re the best and “I LOVE YOU”
I started this by saying a hundred and five is number of years I wanna spend with you; we’ve just spent 2, 103 remaining which means I still have a lot of time to shower my love on you. I gave you the name “MORENIKE” for a reason. MORENIKE, ”MA DE KE E”. I know I’m very stupid and don’t always behave myself – that’s what love makes you do. So please baby bear with me.
Love you always.
Yours Truly,
Babatunde Oladapo Benjamin (DatBlacBoi).

12Feb/16

Dear Daughters #LettersOfTheHeart

A FATHERS WORDS
A(nother) letter to my Lovies
I know what you are thinking, I have written and spoken so much
“Father’s words’. Well, at my last check, it hasn’t killed you; quite
the contrary in fact; so again I write. One letter to three of you,
three letters to each of you-That you may learn lessons from and of
one another. Temi, Desola & Olaolu, I give you (yet again)…A Father’s
Words
Having three daughters is the dream. I remember when I began to moot
the idea and a lot of friends thought it weird, which normal African
man doesn’t want sons? I was lucky. Your mother liked the idea so here
we are; in hindsight, I think it is a great one. But i cannot deny, i
had real fears, how was i going to be able to raise decent young women
in a world that was fast decaying; would I be able to shield them
against the virulent pervasion that was consuming the world; looking
at three of you, I know without a doubt that God’s hands was behind it
all; Incontrovertibly so.
Temiloluwa, you are a pride of a daughter, I can’t stop thanking God
for you. Truth be told, you kind of remind me of your big Uncle Vic.
He was reputed to be everyone’s delight too. The way you organize and
marshal everything, and those awards that you always receive from
school- they really should consider changing Best Student Award to The
Temiloluwa Award. I like David too, that young man you have an eye
for. He is a good chap but I fear that while expecting him to make a
move, you unwittingly push him away. You see, good guys like David are
rare. They combine a mixture of traits that serve advantages and
disadvantages. He is confident but conservative. He is focused and
kind-hearted but most importantly he is sensitive to what you say and
do. I agree with you that he really likes you but i don’t think he
doesn’t know what he wants. You see, the little things you say and
think do not have any meaning get into his mind and make a deposit.
Last week you said what you really wanted to focus on without
distractions was building your global women’s rights group. A man like
David hears that and thinks “maybe she is not ready”. Another time you
teased him about all those his girls- Don’t be surprised he’s thinking
“maybe she just wants to be friends and not be the girl”. I once had a
female friend like that-immediately after secondary school; I liked
her a bit and was considering asking her about a relationship. But she
kept on yapping on how she wasn’t a fan of distance relationships. For
a young man heading off to university, I took that as a hint
(THANKFULLY to be honest) and left that. Years later, I learnt she was
actually expecting me to say something and I didn’t. My point is,
don’t give mixed signals. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I
know you well enough to not bother counselling you to however, not
sell yourself cheap. And if what I see in David’s eyes is what i think
it is, He will wait. And you will have each other. Just don’t make
each other waste time.
Desola, My Iron Lady. Your intolerance for foolishness combined with
the kindness of your heart makes me admire you ALWAYS. You question
anything and everything. The only thing that makes that not scary for
me is that Jesus has captured your heart from the beginning. But you
have friends I have words for. You see in my days, young people
swooned over Hollywood movies. But they made a costly assumption; they
felt Hollywood was a window to the ‘civilised’ society. It was in some
ways, but in others it really wasn’t. Hollywood was the forefront of
moral decadence in the US but they thought it was a reflection of the
general society. So they westernized their morality after the
Hollywood fashion. So much so that chastity became a thing to be
“ashamed” about. Some even took it further to suggest in their
dimension of feminism that it was a ploy to suppress women considering
that men seemed to get away with it. Even the ‘good’ girls started
wanting ‘experienced’ men on their wedding night- I wonder where they
wanted them to receive the experience from. Let your voice continue
to be loud, firm in what you believe. The discipline in waiting brews
a control for staying. Just look around at the divorce rates; see how
much emanated from infidelity. Some from my days felt they had made mistakes and made decisions- decisions which I am happy to say turned out a beautiful life for them, some others felt it didn’t matter and I guess they are fine too. They say we are old fashioned; yes we
are. But that’s only because our reason is different from theirs. They
did it for culture; even religion. We do it for dedication to our
faith. With you, I am hardly fearful; you have made a life of standing
for what you believe is right, even when you stand against the whole
world.  Boss Lady, Your Father salutes you!
Olauluwa my baby! Growing up the child of public figures cannot be
easy and I know it. Being Temi and Desola’s sister probably doesn’t
help; for many this could be an unbearable pressure but not my baby!
You keep slaying left right and centre. I have a concern though. I
fear that you do what is ‘proper’. You do things you think we like. We actually do like them but My darling, you are too young to
make heavy sacrifices for your family. You remind me of a character in
a popular movie in my childhood- The Lion King. The princess got to a
point where she had to ask “If there is so much I must be, Can i still
just be me, the way I am? Can i trust in my own heart or am i just one
part of some big plan?” Well, Olaoluwapemi Farra Amina, daughter of Adekunle. I
tell you today, no plan of anyone- not mine, not your mother’s, not
your sisters can/should supersede your own personal plans. Spread your
wings Sugar, Fly and Soar. Do exactly what you want so far you have
considered it well and reckon it to be right. You can be assured that
in your daddy you will find a smile of love, a twinkle of approval and
a wink of affection.

It will be Valentine’s in a few days. I wrote this letter and planned
that you would read it just before your mother and I return from our
outing. We have news. The Lord has done it! Actually more like The
Lord-Featuring Your Mum and I. You are (finally) getting a baby
Brother!
Love you all, Lovies. Really Really do.

10Feb/16

Dear One Who Wants To Stay #LettersOfTheHeart


Dear One-Who-Wants-to-Stay,
I thought I would not have much to say to you, but it turns out, I was wrong. It seems I don’t quite know as much as I think I do about us.
See, I thought I knew you, the kind of person you were, but you are nothing like I anticipated. A part of me is still being blind to that, but it’s true. You are not the pig-headed buffoon who tussles with me every day for control. You are not the manipulative, arrogant, ignorant bastard that I expected. You are not like him, you know, the One-Who-Had-to-Go.
I wake up every morning, mentally tying my wrapper and adjusting my blouse ready to pounce at the slightest provocation, but you come waving a white flag and bearing the warmest hugs. Your eyes, they disarm me, and your smile, it tells me to lay down my arms, because there is no need or room for war. You don’t fight me, even when I’m spoiling for it. You love me with every breath you take, and everything you do. And this is not something you had to tell me; your actions and very being speak louder than a thousand words. You loved me until I put down my weapons and took down every piece of brick in my wall with my own hands.
I panic sometimes. I am afraid. I keep thinking I will wake up and that old monster will reappear before me. Other times, I think maybe you’re too good to be true, you couldn’t possibly be true. I lash out and try you, but you stay. Patient through my tantrums and anxiety attacks. Leaving me be or holding me close till I can breathe again.
I am a whole new person on account of you. I am better in ways I didn’t think possible, because of you. Your love is healing all my damage and putting together my broken pieces. And I know I sit and act like all that you bear for me is my birthright, but it’s not. They’re not.
So this is my thank you. For every hurdle you’ve jumped, every tear you’ve wiped, and every prayer you’ve said. You continue to exceed expectations I did not even know I had. Others respect me more because of you. You are a dream, even though you were not obvious from the start. You’re the “best thing I never knew I needed.”
And now, I think I have done enough “what-ifing”, and wondering, and cowering behind fear and hurt. I have let damage rule long enough.
Dear One-Who-Wants-to-Stay, it is such an honor to be cared for, to be looked at the way you look at me, and I apologise for all the times I took it for granted. It’s time to return the honor, to give you back love the way you’ve given me. I could make you promises of earth-moving and mountain climbing love but I won’t. I’ll just take one day at a time, trying to mirror your actions. I will tell you this though, you will no longer be the One-Who-Wants-to-Stay. You are now, simply, The One.
Please, stay with me.

07Feb/16

Dear PLF #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear PLF,
Hardly does a day go by without me  thinking of you or wondering what you are up to… and when I do, I soak you in prayer. I know it makes no sense but I miss you. Oh I miss you so much… not being able to share the numerous things I am thinking, the plans, dreams and desires. I know it won’t be long now… we will meet up and we will know… a knowing click*winks*.

This letter is a promise. I promise to love you through thick and thin. When we have so much and when we have to be careful with expenses. I promise to be strong for you when you need me to.

Yes I can fuss and be a drama queen sometimes  (am a woman you know *winks*)… but I promise to pray for you every single day as long as God gives me breath. I promise to dress special for you everyday so no outside woman holds any appeal.

PLF, I assure you our home will be full of love… so much love you that anyone who comes can you cut a slice of it and it doesn’t affect us. Oh if only you know the designs I have for our house… thWLFnterior designs. I know that once I share it with you… You will give me full approval… it’s badt like that. *double winks*.

Our children will be blessings for God will pour His Spirit on them. They will be joy to us and we shall delight in them all our days. Our son shall grow up strong and loving like you. Our daughter shall be sweet and caring like me. *winks*.

I promise to support your dreams and projects even when I don’t understand them… I trust Abba to stir you right. I promise to never go to bed with an angry heart… no room for cracks. I promise to find one reason everyday to fall in love with you again.

Darling PLF, I can’t exhaust all my promises here… some are private. But I assure you under God you will thank God for me everyday as I will for you.

P. S: Your favour doubles because I am a good thing and the crown on your head. I love you today and I will always love you.

Your WLF

PS. I asked and PLF means, Priest, Lover, Friend. You knew already, right? Yeah, I didn’t think so. 😁

06Feb/16

DEAR FRIENDZONED LADY #LETTERSOFTHEHEART

Dear Lady,

The emotions that flow between us is great when it concerns the matter of the heart. I’m always there for you through thick and thin, rain and sunshine, night and day, bad days and ’em legendary bad days.

I pride in the attention given to me, the comfort-ability you enjoy with me, the sincerity, the hidden emotions, the genuine laughter and rants, the movie outings, the dinner hangouts……but then you also enjoy the moments. Them oshofree things.

Now things seem to be going well and you expect me to pull the trigger of proposal but the bomb of “we are just friends” drops. It drops in a subtle way, with the effect not being too harsh or you feeling too bad or bitter.

Withdrawal from me will be so damning. Getting closer is a no go area too, maintaining the friendship tempo becomes a great deal. Then me, #YorubaDemon  *evil grin* gets closer, makes you feel comfortable, gets you to the other side of trust again. But then the unexpected happens. You fall in love with another guy. You start to assess and compare but I encourage you to go for it. And I pull back.

Here’s the beauty and joy of the whole process; you were never lonely. You were happy. I kept you looking radiant.

That’s my joy as a friendzoner.

Remember to say this PRAYER for me:

“Cheerful giver of love, bae of the baeless, boo of the booless, locate me and turn my life around till I meet that FRIENDZONED girl who will capture my heart so I can finally channel all these love to her.”

Regards.

Tobbie

05Feb/16

DEAR DAUGHTER IN-LOVE #LETTERSOFTHEHEART

A letter to my son’s wife on her wedding day.

My beautiful daughter,

I am so blessed to receive you into our home. Since before my son was born, I dreamed of the lady who would one day win his heart and be the mother of his children. You are an answer to my many many prayers. During my childbearing years, I always longed to have a daughter, however, God blessed our home with three wonderful sons. Your coming into our home is my long-awaited answer to that prayer.

I want you to know that we love and respect you. When we give you our son today, we will not take him back. He is yours and yours for life. Our family doesn’t believe in divorce nor will we ever support the break up of your home, regardless of the cause. We will not interfere in the affairs of your home, however, we will always be available should you need guidance or a sounding board.

By the Grace of God, we believe that we raised our son to be a good husband and father. We trained him to always respect women and to be a Godly example. Should he misbehave in any way, know that you can come to us and we will be happy to set him straight, without taking sides. We are committed to the success of your home. While we avail ourselves to you, please know that the truest source of strength and wisdom that you need as a wife is found only in God. I urge you to develop your relationship with Him further and seek Him for daily guidance. The power of prayer cannot be overemphasized.

I learned a lot from my Mother in Love and have a very good relationship with her. I sincerely hope that with time, you will grow to love me like I love her and that we will have a beautiful relationship.

Please take good care of my son. He is now your responsibility and no longer mine. He is a gentle and caring soul and needs to be handled with care. If you need any tips on how to get through to him, I’m always available to share with you all that I know.

He will love you more than he loves me and I’m ready to accept that. I want to see him further develop into the great man that he is called to be. Please be faithful to him, protect his heart and give him all of your love. He has been mine for so many years. I have done my best as a mother to raise him, but today, I hand him over to you. He is now yours to love, cherish, nurture and protect. He is the best gift I have to give. He is the product of my life’s work and prayers. May God grant you wisdom to cherish him, even more than his father and I have.

God bless you as you start this new journey, one that will last a lifetime. Congratulations on your marriage and may you experience all of the joys that come with marrying the love of your life.

With love and sincerity,

Laurie Idahosa

Your husband’s mother

@IdahosaLaurie

www.laurieidahosa.com

04Feb/16

Dear Heart #LettersOfTheHeart

To the Tiny sparkling stars in my
Little world

Dear heart,

I sit in this lonely room of mine,in a strange new world. The thought of you in my heart brightens my day and lift me up as i rewrite my vows to you. To the love that will bind our hearts as one.
I vow to love you to the end of time.
I promise you a million years of love and loyalty.
A minute after eternity my love will remain.
I promise you my life. I’m gonna love you like i’m gonna loose you.
With grey hair,our love shall blossom like it will be from the very beginning.
I shall show you a whole new world.
we shall make love under the moon and our stars shall rest in the eyes of our children.
A million words i will pen down if i write to the rhythm of my heart which is an undescribable feeling that tickles me from within. We shall conquer the world as one heart and plant our love in the sand of time as a reminder of our great love.
in an afterlife you will still be mine. Living without you shall be like a punishment and i will show you to the world in your finest form.
I shall protect your ego and take pride in honouring you.
The earth shall celebrate our love. I will follow you to the end. But for now,i will wait for this great love story,for every minute is worth it. I love you.

Your Heart
Future Wife

03Feb/16

Dear He Who Must Not Be Named #LettersOfTheHeart

From the lips of the ex-side chick

“I Love You.”

It hurt so much to have these three words at the tip of my lips for so long but I could never tell you. Because you were not mine to love. Well, not in the way I wanted. *sigh*. I thought I could never get over you. I was the stalker side chick….always wondering when the next fight would happen. I made friends with her friends, her family members, everybody I knew who knew her automatically became my friend. Social Media became the bane of my life because all I saw were happy pictures of both of you. I had the happy façade of someone who couldn’t care less if you loved me or not, but deep down, oh deep down, there was that feeling of defeat, that desperate want of acceptance.

I would do anything for you.
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