Tag Archives: Lordjosh

26Feb/16

Dear Momma #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear Momma
I saw you today, it’s been a while and though I can’t sincerely say I missed you, my life has been beautiful; my job, my school, David proposed to me.
You came over today to tell me about your new shop, you seemed very excited about it, you said it was the best you have ever had, it was big, it had basic facilities, enough parking space and it was at a strategic location for your business. It was barely 30 minutes from where I live; “now I can get to check on my baby” were the words you said.
I looked into your beautiful eyes momma, they are smaller now, duller than I remember, where’s that light I used to see in them? Your smile is thinner too. I looked at your face and all I could see staring back at me were tired eyes, thin smiles and wrinkles of a thousand worries.
I stood up to get you a drink and fix you a meal because it was all too much for me to bear, but when I stared back at you sitting on my couch, your back was a little bent momma, you looked small and tired, all broke inside me momma! How did all these years pass and I wasn’t there?
“I took a loan” you said, “oh Sara, this will be big, I can feel it, it’ll be a new life for us, I’ll be able to take care of myself, have some savings and take care of you darling”
I cried after you left momma.
I’m sorry.
All those years I watched you fight for me, you were all I had and I loved you, I wanted to protect you from the world, from the likes of my father whom I never knew. Those nights I wept because I couldn’t protect you, I watched all those men come into your life only to leave. I wanted you to see yourself as the hero I saw. You didn’t, you broke each time they left, but u loved me still.
Time passed and all that love I felt turned to anger; I was angry with you for not being all that you could be, I was ashamed of you momma. I saw you as weak and I hated it, I wanted to run away.
I moved out when I went away to college, oh momma! So long has it been since I looked at you with love. I’m sorry that you still have to be starting over, I’m sorry I turned away momma, no one taught you to love yourself or that you deserve to be cared for.
I can’t get back those years momma, but if you let me, I’ll love you the right way, let me take care of you.
Let me love you this Valentine and ever after.
Your  daughter,
Sara

25Feb/16

Dear Future Husband #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear Future Husband,
I thought I would be nervous when writing this to you but it’s much easier than I thought. Sometimes I wish my life were a movie, and that there could be a spilt screen, just so I could check in and see what you’re up to. Sometimes I wonder if we are connected by some forces stronger than us. I am looking forward to a life of commitment and a happiness with you, I’m not unrealistic that we won’t have any problems or difficulties. Those will be the growing times when our love and commitment will be tested, and we will emerge stronger, wiser and more deeply in love.
We are meant for each other. That is so awesome to me! I can hardly wait to meet you, but I know I have to be patient. Until then, I can think about you, pray for you and hope that you are thinking about me and praying for me, too.
I want to love you. And, I want you to love me. I want to be cherished, to be the most important person in your life, to be your most intimate friend. I want your tenderness and your affection, your kindness and your strength. I want to be there for you when you feel happy and on top of the world. I want you to feel safe with me and never to be ashamed to talk about your fears and weaknesses. I want to be your wife, and you my husband. Neither of us will be the perfect spouse, but we strive to please God and to do his will. I want you to treat me like the queen I am, so I can treat you like the king you are.
I’m so glad that I won’t know where or when I would meet you, if I haven’t yet. I really don’t think I have, but who knows? I wonder if we were ever at the same place at the same time, if you were ever in the background of my pictures. It would be pretty cool if we had crossed paths already somehow without realizing it.
Don’t feel pressured by this letter. Like I said, I don’t know when I would want to meet you. What I do know is that someday I will meet you, and I will love you absolutely with every single thing I have inside me. I’m not promising to be the perfect wife but you won’t regret falling in love with me. I can promise to appreciate and admire every quirk about you. When you are sad, having a bad day, or angry, I will do everything in my power to make you smile.
So why in the world am I telling you all this? Because you are in my mind. I do think about you a lot. You are so important to me. Our future is important to me. That’s why all this matters.
I hope that you’ll let me tell you all the things I love about you, every single day, and never get sick of hearing it. You’ll realize am not like other girls that I think spending money on expensive clothes is about as important as today’s obsession with Miley Cyrus.
What will draw me to you, more than anything else, however is your love of God, through the failures and the triumphs, through the laughter and the tears, will only increase my love for you. So please continue to be patient and wait for me.
After reading this short letter, future husband, I hope you now understand why I wrote this for you, so you will see my heart. It beats for you. It will always beat for you. I really do exist. Please wait for me. I am waiting for you.
LOVE
Your future wife.

24Feb/16

Dear No Strings Attached Bestie #LettersOfTheHeart

So it is true what they say; two opposite sex cannot effectively be ‘no-strings-attached best friends’. They’d either both realize they are in love with each other or one of them would fall into a one-sided love. Even though I didn’t quite believe that analogy, I never knew I would fall into the latter category. But I did! I fell hard and fast.

Falling in love with you was so easy; how could I not fall in love with you? You were always there, ready to listen to me, ready to laugh with me, ready to hold me against your chest and wipe my face as I cry, ready to tell me the truth always even when I am being stupid, ready to defend me in public and cover-up my shortcomings, ready to provide your shoulder to lean on, ready to pick me up when I fall flat on my face. You penetrated my heart so easily that I was surprised when I checked my heart and found you there. But sharing my heart with you was a delight for me. I wanted to make you fall in love with me just as much as I loved you, to pitch my tent in your heart and make it my abode. But when I checked-in, another was already resident in your heart.

Unaware of the status of my aching heart, you confided in me, telling me about your love for another woman when all I wanted was to hear you confess your love for me; for only me. I cried in the safety of my closet and suddenly, you were not there to wipe my tears or cry with me, you were not there to sooth the pain that you unknowingly created. I waited for the time you would come to tell me you love me, for the time you would stop seeing me as ‘just a very good friend’. But after waiting for what seems like a lifetime, I finally realize that I would never hear it. You gave me everything I ever wanted but you did not give me the one thing I craved above all else – your heart. I cannot learn to love you just as a friend, but I would try. In the meantime, I will renovate my heart and create a larger room for someone else, so that next time, I would not fall victim of a one-sided love.

Still sadly your no-strings-attached bestie

Nissi Inspiration

22Feb/16

Dear Omolola #LettersOfTheHeart

(Adetomiwa’s letter to his mom who passed a couple of decades ago)

Hello Omolola,

Hope this mail meets you well.
It’s been a while babe, I’m sure you’re doing well. A lot has happened since the last time, let’s just say my whole life has changed. I’ve tried to find love similar to the one we share and I’ve recorded massive failures. I’ve taken on some weird tasks and survived the rigorous schedules. I’ve had many near death experiences, no don’t be scared, I’m still whole, body and soul.  Omolola, I have lived in different places under varying conditions, but like the super hero you know, I’ve found a way to adapt and bask in them.  I’m done with school now, FINALLY! I’ll soon start working and I’ll be able to take good care of you.  Family members want to take graduation pictures with me, they all seem so proud of what I’ve become. Most of them say we look alike, I feel it’s an insult though, considering how beautiful you are compared to my frail looking face. Do forgive their weak attempt at paying compliments.
I saw our last picture a few minutes ago, the way I held on to your neck, our smiles could melt the sun. Now I only see you virtually, its been a long time without you. On the eve of your birthday, I told you I felt lonely all over again. I felt my strength fading, in my pursuit of happiness I think I had forgotten to live. Right now I wish I could take out time just to stop growing. I want to be the baby that I am, your baby. I want you to hug me and hold me close to your heart. I miss you babe. I want to see you so badly. How would I look like you and not be able to look at you. Its been over two decades since I last saw you. The world claims absence makes the heart grow fonder, it doesn’t explicitly explain the steps to keep the memories from fading, I’m at wit’s end on the latter. I wonder what would make you show your face. I have constantly made giant leaps, waiting earnestly on the edge of my seat, hoping that one of such grand events would feature an appearance from you. Alas, it only featured nugatory appearances from girls who are constantly striving to take your place. Never mind babe, I got you. Although I must say that with your delayed return, I have been tempted to test out a few interns to fill your position, sadly they have all dropped out. Management noticed that they lacked the amount of TLC we needed so they failed to meet up with the KPIs.

Olusola has always been my rival, an amazing one at that. He’s only lucky he met you before I did, because I have comfortably floored him in other aspects. I still keep him around though, after all, its advised that we keep our enemies closer. And then he’s my father, what can I do?
So while I await our anticipated rendezvous, I advise you to keep your eyes peeled baby girl, adjust your halo my dear angel, believe me, you wouldn’t want to miss any of this. I dust my shoes, fasten my belt and flip my cloak on, your super hero to the rescue.

Yours eternally,
Adetomiwa
Your son

20Feb/16

Dear Son #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear Son,

My daughter is head-over-heels in love with you so you are family. You are son.
You may be surprised I chose to write you… It is because I love you… and my daughter.
There are a lot of things I want to say to you and as you will get to know as we go on son, I’m not exactly the memory master in some things so I thought the earlier I started saying them, the better.

I want to be your mom – not like I want to take the place of your mother. I don’t want you to see me as your wife’s mother but the mother of the both of you. I don’t want to be formal with you, I want to talk to you for hours, just making jokes and teasing.

Son, I give my daughter to you because I trust that you’ll treat her like her father does me – like royalty.
I raised a Queen.
I give her to you because I see that you’re a King.

Son, I know your wife is as fragile as she’s strong. She’s perfected concealing her weaknesses and flaunting her strengths but once in a while, she’s bound to crash under the weight of her imperfections. Please, in those times, help remind her that she is strong not because she does not have weaknesses but because she has a leash on them.

I solemnly vow never to poke my nose in your matters if you don’t ask that I do so, if I ever do so without invitation, please feel completely free and confident enough to smack it out!
It’s your marriage, it’s your life.

I know she won’t tell you so I will – my baby girl loves surprises – she inherited it from me – so, spring up a few sometimes. This will be one of the best advice I can give you on how to get whatever you want of her.

Chide her. Correct her. Be mad at her. Never yell at her, never raise your hands against her- NEVER! I tell my sons these.
You are ROYALTY!
Pamper her. Pray for her. Spoil her.
Love her like your own life.

Love & Grace,
Mom

P. S: your wife will want two kids… I want twin grandchildren… I trust you and God to make that happen! ;););)

17Feb/16

Dear Thousand Miles Away #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear Thousand Miles Away,

I close my eyes and wish the desire I have in my heart is not left in the arms of fate. But the distance took away all my dreams and fantasies only to replace them with a longing to bring reality to the aching feelings of my heart. I wish we had more time to explore those first few days of realization. I remember how I reached out to stand by your side in our first picture, maybe I knew the time was short and wanted a lot more. But it was a story we never started.

Waiting has never felt so sweet and yet so sour. It brings hope to my heart but tears to my eyes. It gives expectations to my heart but fills my days with fear. A double feeling of Hope and Doubt. I can only ride on the wings of imagination of a story we can make together.

Burning with jealousy of the memories you create without me. Though I have made my own memories several times, opening pages and chapters, the story just always flip to an end.  Maybe it was just never right or it was never meant to be without you. I still don’t have a clue what my love journey would be like. I long to find out but I’d rather do it with you. Yet you are so far away. I’ll hang on to hope, believing I will see your face so close again. I am not sure if Love actually happens twice in a Lifetime. Still you are too true and I am almost certain this will not happen again in this life. So I’ll find Joy in waiting and hoping that I make my story with only you.

There are times I fear the distance is all we have to share. I continue to look forward to when the 5,270 Miles will be a few steps away; when my morning hours will no longer be your night hour.  I can only believe that we won’t be grey when the time finally arrives. And pray the little string left of our hope will not wear off.  Though you seem far by miles, I’m on the other side of the moon, just a step over the ocean.
Dreaming Alone, Waiting Alone.

16Feb/16

Dear Tosin #LettersOfTheHeart

A few weeks ago, ‘’Hey Soul Sister’’ by Train was playing on the radio. The song took me back down memory lane to a period in my life I haven’t given any consideration to in the last two years.
It was second semester in our third year in the university, we were seated next to each other in a Financial Accounting class. Our seats were located in the middle of the class and considering our lecture’s bedroom voice it wasn’t the best choice.
I didn’t want to be the one that lost out on our current deal, so I was faking concentration, refusing to acknowledge that you were stealing long glances at me whenever you took a break from writing your note.
I wanted so bad to wrap my free hand in yours and let you trace circles on the inside of my palm but that would mean losing our deal and my pride was larger than my need for touching hands.
My fake concentration broke when you reached for your ear phones and placed them in my ears and the first line of the Train song blasted into my head ‘’Lip stick stain on theonont lope of my left side brain’’.
Hey we all know that nerd Ore would know the part of the brain responsible for love.
I broke into a smile and in that moment I am sure I loved you.
I know this is weird and I am the last person you are expecting a letter from, but don’t drop it just yet.
There is a point to this and it isn’t to win you back or drag up old emotions; listening to that song left me feeling guilty and there are a few things I like you to know so here goes.
It feels like I am writing to a stranger and this simple fact has me wondering if you still love milk or if you still take the most beautiful unassuming photographs of people but who am I kidding I know deep down that you would always love milk and photography makes up more than 50% of how you express yourself and share your beauty with the world.
What I really should be wondering about is what goes on in your day, how many new movies you have seen, which series you have gotten hooked on and what new artist is bringing your ear drums to life. I have lost the right to know these things, to have long conversations about nothing important, just the shared joy of  listening to the next person’s voice.
I am sure you have a tonne of questions for me after these two paragraphs but I am getting to the point of this letter and here goes. Sorry I didn’t accept your hand of friendship after our ‘’relationship’’ ended. Fun fact it took me so long to accept it and learn to say it out loud.
I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be friends with you to share any aspect of my life with you, I needed to grow without you, find out who I am and the possibilities available to me without you.
All of who I was at that point in my life was wrapped up tightly in you; I had lost my identity in you, my dreams each and every one had you in it. You had become my sun and I was willingly drawing light and direction from you.
I had to find myself, learn to dream for me and learn to love myself without you. Any relationship with you would have hindered the journey to self-discovery I needed to embark on. There was never a perfect time to explain any of this to you, heck I didn’t understand what was going on at the time.
I needed to be selfish to heal and I hope you can understand that.
I have moved on with my life; learnt to deal with life situations more maturely and more importantly learn to face life as a complete individual.  So I am just wondering how you are, how your dreams are panning out, and I have tried to turn off my wondering mind in your direction but I have come to the understanding that there is always a room that ‘’firsts’’ occupy though, it’s an ever shrinking space.
So feel free to reply ‘’Stranger Ore’s letter’’ or not, the ball is entirely in your court. Consider this an explanation, a peace offering of some sort and you are officially off the hook from the promises of the song ‘’The Only Exception’’.
From A Distant Part of Your Past

Dear Natalie #LettersOfTheHeart

( a letter from the past, to be read by my ‘Cupcake’ on the 15th of February, 2016)

Dear Natalie,
Forgive me but I might get my tenses wrong since I’m writing in the present as though the future me is talking about the past that is still future to this present, and am expecting you to relate to this from the future to both yesterdays past and my current present which is an even further past from when you should be reading this.
Correct tense or not, my love for you will be eternal, ( except you force me to eat Amala, yes you know I hate Amala that much, in sickness and in health, but not with Amala, No no no NO)

If you’re reading this on the 15th you’ll know I proposed yesterday, valentines day. I’ve tried to imagine a future without you, it would be quite dreadful for me, so I hope you said YES.

Since the beginning of 2015, (yes, 2015) I’d been researching engagement rings, ( yes! I’ve been ready to put a ring on it for a loooong time ). At first I felt like there were so many options to choose from; style, what metal, gem type, cut. Totally spoilt for choice, it was like there were as many rings as there were women. Then it hit me, out of all the women in this world, I fell madly in love with you, Natalie, it amazes me just how happy I am to be with you, to have you, to share my heart and my world with you. I couldn’t just pick a ring, I had to find the right one.

Now I believe I’ve picked an engagement ring that captures my deepest feelings for you. It’s a handmade silver Celtic Claddagh ring with an emerald gemstone; just like you it’s uniquely crafted, silver so it will  match your skin flawlessly, the claddagh ring design symbolises the core of our relationship; our crazy Friendship, how beautifully we love each other, and our steadfast Loyalty to each other through stormy weather, plus the emerald gemstone is in your favourite colour, no boring white for you babe.

Right now I’m writing from Minna, Nigeria, and you’re all the way up north in Bristol, UK, I know you were expecting me on the 18th of February, but I fibbed, I’m planning to sneak over to Bristol, prank our friends, surprise you and propose on Valentines day. I know both of us are not great fans of relationship clichés, but I felt this had to be an exception. We’ve been friends since 2012 and courting since 2013, but this will be the first valentines day when we’d actually be together.

The long distance hasn’t been easy for us, my whole being constantly aches to be with you, every day without you I’m like a husk, simply moving, longing and waiting. But somehow, against crazy odds, we’ve made it work through your resilient and patient effort. I owe you big time, for this I pray that God will reward you ( or us) with 8 children; 4 Troublesome boys and 4 Beautiful girls. May you not resist the Lords Blessing! ACCEPT IT In Jesus Name!

Babe, I’ve missed so much about you.
I’ve missed seeing you shake your head at my stupid jokes, how you roll your eyes at my ridiculous behaviour, the blush in your cheeks when I tease you pointlessly.
I’ve missed the warmth that fills my heart everytime you smile lovingly at me, hearing you laugh with me, how you dote over me. I’ve missed watching you sing. I’ve missed holding your hand while we pray together.

I could write all day about what I miss about you, but unfortunately we’ve got a few ‘eavesdroppers’ on this letter, and they have lives to get back to, cars to drive, and road traffic to dodge.

I want to spend the rest of my days with you, be a loving husband to you, raise and nurture 8 wonderful children with you, create and share new experiences, invent family traditions, have an awesome life with you.

Yes of course we have our differences, but we’ve recognized, understood and each compromised for them. We’ve got shared dreams and desires for the future, we support, complement and have faith in each other. We should tackle the world together.
Ever since I knew the depths of your heart I had to ask this question; every moment, every step, every breath has been leading inevitably, irreversibly and unquestionably, towards this one question. You still have a choice to make, but I have no choice, it has to be you. But I must ask, I must hope and I must pray. So..
(Deep breath)

Natalie Ajani, will you be my wife?

 

PS. She said “YES”! Be nice, drop a “Congratulations” in the comment section.

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14Feb/16

Dear Amanda #LettersOfTheHeart

Some people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in what they are.

Dear Amanda,

It’s been a while I wrote you a letter, not since you made me write you letters in Yoruba. The effort put into those words is enough for a 100 letters and that’s probably why you’re just now receiving another letter from me.

I had long learned to write down words my heart really wanted to say which my lips couldn’t utter and today I share those words with you. Some of the words are in pictures and even though they are not words I wrote, I have kept them (some for over 5 years) because they expressed what was in my heart aptly at the times I saw them. They gave voice to my very deep thoughts and emotions.

Once upon a cold December morning, I saw you for maybe the 100th time; a graceful young lady who until that moment was just another girl I saw around. But that morning, something was different. You were like a diamond, glittering and catching my attention everywhere I turned. I got hooked forever. Or not.

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Your beauty was simple yet ravishing, your carriage relaxed yet confident and your character gentle yet captivating. You became the dream, the mission was clear.

 

 

In retrospect, the lines below should have been my first line to you. You know I have wished severally that I could meet you for the first time all over again so I can say these words to you;

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Anyone who’s ever fallen in love would know that expressions are really hard when you’re truly in love but I tried to express myself every way I could, sometimes the expressions were successful, at other times, they were woeful.

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It was like we were in a maze; seeking to love and seeking to be loved but unable to meet those needs. I couldn’t understand why. Loving could be so simply complicated

 

 

I loved that you were different but I tried in vain to fully understand the thought pattern of women

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This is the best way I could describe it. It was like I fell in love with a beautiful flower in full bloom with petals soft and tall like the Iroko tree, smelling like vanilla chocolate but was not really chocolate because it was made of flour and it wasn’t actually a flower.

Yeah, I was that confused.

The many little pretty things you did had taken up all of my heart. You say I taught you to give but I don’t know how true that is ’cause I know you are a black belt in giving. When life puts several hundred miles between us, I like that you were always ready to give me several hours of your days on end in phone conversations; that’s one of the little things that filled up my heart.

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Like music stopping in the middle of a dance, the fire burned out. They say we forgot to stoke the fire. I asked how we were supposed to stoke the fire of love and there were a hundred responses but no answer.

 

We had to find our own answers. It took a while but we found our answer, and yeah baby, I chose you yesterday, I choose you today and I will choose you for the next thousand, thousand tomorrows.

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We found our rhythym, you began to laugh like me and I could anticipate your next sigh, I knew when you were unsure and you could hear all the words I chose not to say. A steady fire had ignited in us both.

 

“Oh, I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her

She gives me love and affection
Baby, did I mention
You’re the only girl for me
No, I don’t need a next one
Mama loves you too
She thinks I made the right selection
Now all that’s left to do
Is just for me to …”

(Cheerleader -Omi)

Some people are beautiful, in looks, in what they say, and in what they are. You my lover are beautiful

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13Feb/16

Dear Morenike #LettersOfTheHeart

A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head when I think of all the years I wanna be with you”

That’s the songs that pops in my head whenever, wherever I set my eyes on you. I just wanna get on one knee and do it once and for all. The God-honest truth is I really dunno what I like/love about you. Maybe it’s the smile, your beauty, your sexy body; I really dunno. What exactly attracted me to you? All I know is I saw you once and I liked you. I tried to get you off my mind but I couldn’t, I was completely “love struck”. A couple of months later “bang bang bang”, you became ‘Mrs Black’ queen of my heart”.
I’ve being with a couple of girls in the short time I’ve spent in this life – good relationships in fact that I thought would lead to something great, but at the end of the day, they all left. Yours is the longest relationship I have ever been in and I definitely want more years with you.
We are always disagreeing, always making each other flare up and asking questions like “how did I even end up with you? but deep down we are sure that we are the best thing to ever happen to each other. And despite all the relationship “experiences” I’ve had; with you I’m a novice. You just make me wonder.
Baby I sure to God am hooked on you, you are my fix. I used to convince myself that I’m not the kinda guy to just “love up” and then make a lady “the beginning and the end” of my entire existence but that changed with you. You definitely make me wanna be a better person, always trying to bring out the best in me. Even if it means you have to sometimes be naughty/nasty about it.
You know I’m a man of many words always having something to say, but here I am finding it difficult to use my words appropriately to express the way I feel about you and how you make me feel. It took me three days to put this together and I still haven’t expressed myself the way I have it in my head. I honestly can’t explain how I feel or what exactly is the thing(s) I like/love about you. Baby you’re the best and “I LOVE YOU”
I started this by saying a hundred and five is number of years I wanna spend with you; we’ve just spent 2, 103 remaining which means I still have a lot of time to shower my love on you. I gave you the name “MORENIKE” for a reason. MORENIKE, ”MA DE KE E”. I know I’m very stupid and don’t always behave myself – that’s what love makes you do. So please baby bear with me.
Love you always.
Yours Truly,
Babatunde Oladapo Benjamin (DatBlacBoi).