By Sharon Olanrewaju
In my second year in secondary school, I was moved to a new class (you know how our classes used to have branches e.g JSS1 A,B, C or GREEN, YELLOW, BLUE). I was moved to the blue class. It meant new friends for me and enemies too. There was this boy who was a particular enemy.I couldn’t explain why he disliked me but it was so obvious he did.For example, there was a day a classmate who was a friend of mine found a letter in his locker. If you remember well,letters were the in thing then. A boy would put a love letter in your locker or you would write a letter to a friend who has annoyed you informing her you don’t want to be friends with her anymore. Letters just seemed to be a more interesting means of passing any message across. Letters were a major part of our lives (well, for the girls especially). I remember that in our first year, there was a girl who was probably feeling bad she had not received love letters from anyone, so she started writing letters to herself regularly and would put it in her locker and then loud it for all to hear, as if she had nothing to do with it! There was a respect that came from being written to.It meant you were noticed.
Back to the letter in question, the writer was angry with my friend because she had heard that he said she was a bad influence on me (you should know: I was loved by many in class, I was friends with many too).
When letters were found in anyone’s locker, the interesting part was trying to figure out who wrote it. This boy who was a particular enemy then accused me of writing the letter😶.I was stupefied! How could I have written the letter when I was discussed in it.There was another day he accused me of asking for answers to a test question during the test.(you wouldn’t understand how annoying all these were back then, it was a slap in the face). We just weren’t in each other’s good books and it was quite fine with me. But less than a year after, things were about to change!
He Started liking me and damn! he was so not ashamed of it😄
He exchanged his seat with that of the person behind me. It brought him closer to me,it was also a good thing for me.I wasn’t so good with mathematics, all I needed to do was look back and he would take it up from there,my problems would always be sorted out.I could also get lazy with writing my notes, He was sure to handle it😘 (he had a good hand writing, he still does). He got me my first boy gifts: two beautiful cards for the Christmas break (I slept with those cards almost everyday, till I tore them), he would also call and message me like that was his only life duty. Although these actions made me feel special and even made people talk in class, I was too naive and jovial to be so bothered.I simply thought he was just being nice.I didn’t know so much about crushes and feelings.
We drew apart after some time.Years went by and I found myself in the University, we were also coming back as friends. This time, I was not just the same jovial, innocent girl he liked years back but more than that, I was a grumpy,insecure,depressed, doubtful,religion beaten girl, one who never found Joy inspite of all her efforts to get to God.No matter how hard I tried,it seemed God and I were not just meant to be.
Then he came (again). Now,I also had a crush on him. He endured my broken,messy, grumpy,insecure person and just hung around as a friend.Trust me, a girl who has not found herself and is insecure or is not conscious of her person in Christ and His (Christ’s) unfailing love for her would always be a big, fat burden. That’s because anyone in her life would be ladened with the task of satisfying that deep pit filled with the desire to be loved and always doted over and no guy who wants to live till his old age can ‘completely’ satisfy such a woman (He’ll simply die young!)
But he came and showed me Grace, helped me understand Christ and his love for me and that did the trick. Gradually,I was becoming a better person, a gracious lady, learning to be secure and confident in who I am and not be a burden to myself and to others. I started learning to treat all guys in my life as Kings because I felt like a Queen,my feminity was brought to play. I was confidently loving up on people. It wasn’t so much of the depression anymore.Life was becoming better, much more peaceful,much more worth it.
Now, I’m still not a perfect girl, but boy am I glad with this person I see now and even much more,I’m overwhelmed at the thought of the woman I’ll be in years to come.
There were indeed many other friends who helped in my understanding and acceptance of God’s love.( I wouldn’t want to mention names, it’s a real long list), but you see, there is just something about the ‘boy- girl’ thing that makes it run deeper.I think the best way to understand God’s love is to be loved by someone who has been hit by that same love, especially if the person is the opposite sex…(Glory!🙌)You just must understand it that way. Not the same sex o, not girl-girl or boy-boy,that one might not work😄 (🙋I’m simply preaching heterosexuality here) *lol* and it doesn’t matter to me that it didn’t ‘work out into something bigger’ between my crush and I, all that matters is that he came into my life and did things right!