Tag Archives: family

09Mar/16

JUMAI Episode 1

Mark Ademola looked through the window of the plane as it continued its descent. The atmosphere was clear, it was going to be an uneventful end to an uneventful flight, which was good. He was back to his world, the place where he belonged.

Lagos was home; crazy and sometimes frustrating but home all the same.

He craned his neck to see if he could spot his street or his house. It was a habit he had that was yet to yield any results. Though he saw several roads and several houses, he never saw his own. Leaning back in his seat, he wondered why he kept trying; it was never going to happen.

A few minutes later the plane stopped and the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign went off.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Murtala Muhammed Airport, Lagos.” The Captain announced. “The time is 9:15am…”

Mark ignored the mumbling Pilot and unfastened his seatbelt. It was crazy that he still needed to go to the office after the strenuous week he just had but that was his life. He stood from his seat and reached for the overhead cabinet. He opened it and removed his luggage.

Chop! Chop! Let’s go.

“Could you help me get my bag, please?” A rather compelling female voice called from behind him.

He looked back to see who the voice belonged to. He stopped at the sight that faced him. She looked at him with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
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26Feb/16

Dear Momma #LettersOfTheHeart

Dear Momma
I saw you today, it’s been a while and though I can’t sincerely say I missed you, my life has been beautiful; my job, my school, David proposed to me.
You came over today to tell me about your new shop, you seemed very excited about it, you said it was the best you have ever had, it was big, it had basic facilities, enough parking space and it was at a strategic location for your business. It was barely 30 minutes from where I live; “now I can get to check on my baby” were the words you said.
I looked into your beautiful eyes momma, they are smaller now, duller than I remember, where’s that light I used to see in them? Your smile is thinner too. I looked at your face and all I could see staring back at me were tired eyes, thin smiles and wrinkles of a thousand worries.
I stood up to get you a drink and fix you a meal because it was all too much for me to bear, but when I stared back at you sitting on my couch, your back was a little bent momma, you looked small and tired, all broke inside me momma! How did all these years pass and I wasn’t there?
“I took a loan” you said, “oh Sara, this will be big, I can feel it, it’ll be a new life for us, I’ll be able to take care of myself, have some savings and take care of you darling”
I cried after you left momma.
I’m sorry.
All those years I watched you fight for me, you were all I had and I loved you, I wanted to protect you from the world, from the likes of my father whom I never knew. Those nights I wept because I couldn’t protect you, I watched all those men come into your life only to leave. I wanted you to see yourself as the hero I saw. You didn’t, you broke each time they left, but u loved me still.
Time passed and all that love I felt turned to anger; I was angry with you for not being all that you could be, I was ashamed of you momma. I saw you as weak and I hated it, I wanted to run away.
I moved out when I went away to college, oh momma! So long has it been since I looked at you with love. I’m sorry that you still have to be starting over, I’m sorry I turned away momma, no one taught you to love yourself or that you deserve to be cared for.
I can’t get back those years momma, but if you let me, I’ll love you the right way, let me take care of you.
Let me love you this Valentine and ever after.
Your  daughter,
Sara

14Feb/16

Dear Amanda #LettersOfTheHeart

Some people are beautiful, not in looks, not in what they say, just in what they are.

Dear Amanda,

It’s been a while I wrote you a letter, not since you made me write you letters in Yoruba. The effort put into those words is enough for a 100 letters and that’s probably why you’re just now receiving another letter from me.

I had long learned to write down words my heart really wanted to say which my lips couldn’t utter and today I share those words with you. Some of the words are in pictures and even though they are not words I wrote, I have kept them (some for over 5 years) because they expressed what was in my heart aptly at the times I saw them. They gave voice to my very deep thoughts and emotions.

Once upon a cold December morning, I saw you for maybe the 100th time; a graceful young lady who until that moment was just another girl I saw around. But that morning, something was different. You were like a diamond, glittering and catching my attention everywhere I turned. I got hooked forever. Or not.

pic1

Your beauty was simple yet ravishing, your carriage relaxed yet confident and your character gentle yet captivating. You became the dream, the mission was clear.

 

 

In retrospect, the lines below should have been my first line to you. You know I have wished severally that I could meet you for the first time all over again so I can say these words to you;

pic2

 

 

 

 

 

Anyone who’s ever fallen in love would know that expressions are really hard when you’re truly in love but I tried to express myself every way I could, sometimes the expressions were successful, at other times, they were woeful.

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It was like we were in a maze; seeking to love and seeking to be loved but unable to meet those needs. I couldn’t understand why. Loving could be so simply complicated

 

 

I loved that you were different but I tried in vain to fully understand the thought pattern of women

pic5

 

 

 

 

This is the best way I could describe it. It was like I fell in love with a beautiful flower in full bloom with petals soft and tall like the Iroko tree, smelling like vanilla chocolate but was not really chocolate because it was made of flour and it wasn’t actually a flower.

Yeah, I was that confused.

The many little pretty things you did had taken up all of my heart. You say I taught you to give but I don’t know how true that is ’cause I know you are a black belt in giving. When life puts several hundred miles between us, I like that you were always ready to give me several hours of your days on end in phone conversations; that’s one of the little things that filled up my heart.

pic91

Like music stopping in the middle of a dance, the fire burned out. They say we forgot to stoke the fire. I asked how we were supposed to stoke the fire of love and there were a hundred responses but no answer.

 

We had to find our own answers. It took a while but we found our answer, and yeah baby, I chose you yesterday, I choose you today and I will choose you for the next thousand, thousand tomorrows.

pic9

 

We found our rhythym, you began to laugh like me and I could anticipate your next sigh, I knew when you were unsure and you could hear all the words I chose not to say. A steady fire had ignited in us both.

 

“Oh, I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader
She is always right there when I need her

She gives me love and affection
Baby, did I mention
You’re the only girl for me
No, I don’t need a next one
Mama loves you too
She thinks I made the right selection
Now all that’s left to do
Is just for me to …”

(Cheerleader -Omi)

Some people are beautiful, in looks, in what they say, and in what they are. You my lover are beautiful

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12Feb/16

Dear Daughters #LettersOfTheHeart

A FATHERS WORDS
A(nother) letter to my Lovies
I know what you are thinking, I have written and spoken so much
“Father’s words’. Well, at my last check, it hasn’t killed you; quite
the contrary in fact; so again I write. One letter to three of you,
three letters to each of you-That you may learn lessons from and of
one another. Temi, Desola & Olaolu, I give you (yet again)…A Father’s
Words
Having three daughters is the dream. I remember when I began to moot
the idea and a lot of friends thought it weird, which normal African
man doesn’t want sons? I was lucky. Your mother liked the idea so here
we are; in hindsight, I think it is a great one. But i cannot deny, i
had real fears, how was i going to be able to raise decent young women
in a world that was fast decaying; would I be able to shield them
against the virulent pervasion that was consuming the world; looking
at three of you, I know without a doubt that God’s hands was behind it
all; Incontrovertibly so.
Temiloluwa, you are a pride of a daughter, I can’t stop thanking God
for you. Truth be told, you kind of remind me of your big Uncle Vic.
He was reputed to be everyone’s delight too. The way you organize and
marshal everything, and those awards that you always receive from
school- they really should consider changing Best Student Award to The
Temiloluwa Award. I like David too, that young man you have an eye
for. He is a good chap but I fear that while expecting him to make a
move, you unwittingly push him away. You see, good guys like David are
rare. They combine a mixture of traits that serve advantages and
disadvantages. He is confident but conservative. He is focused and
kind-hearted but most importantly he is sensitive to what you say and
do. I agree with you that he really likes you but i don’t think he
doesn’t know what he wants. You see, the little things you say and
think do not have any meaning get into his mind and make a deposit.
Last week you said what you really wanted to focus on without
distractions was building your global women’s rights group. A man like
David hears that and thinks “maybe she is not ready”. Another time you
teased him about all those his girls- Don’t be surprised he’s thinking
“maybe she just wants to be friends and not be the girl”. I once had a
female friend like that-immediately after secondary school; I liked
her a bit and was considering asking her about a relationship. But she
kept on yapping on how she wasn’t a fan of distance relationships. For
a young man heading off to university, I took that as a hint
(THANKFULLY to be honest) and left that. Years later, I learnt she was
actually expecting me to say something and I didn’t. My point is,
don’t give mixed signals. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I
know you well enough to not bother counselling you to however, not
sell yourself cheap. And if what I see in David’s eyes is what i think
it is, He will wait. And you will have each other. Just don’t make
each other waste time.
Desola, My Iron Lady. Your intolerance for foolishness combined with
the kindness of your heart makes me admire you ALWAYS. You question
anything and everything. The only thing that makes that not scary for
me is that Jesus has captured your heart from the beginning. But you
have friends I have words for. You see in my days, young people
swooned over Hollywood movies. But they made a costly assumption; they
felt Hollywood was a window to the ‘civilised’ society. It was in some
ways, but in others it really wasn’t. Hollywood was the forefront of
moral decadence in the US but they thought it was a reflection of the
general society. So they westernized their morality after the
Hollywood fashion. So much so that chastity became a thing to be
“ashamed” about. Some even took it further to suggest in their
dimension of feminism that it was a ploy to suppress women considering
that men seemed to get away with it. Even the ‘good’ girls started
wanting ‘experienced’ men on their wedding night- I wonder where they
wanted them to receive the experience from. Let your voice continue
to be loud, firm in what you believe. The discipline in waiting brews
a control for staying. Just look around at the divorce rates; see how
much emanated from infidelity. Some from my days felt they had made mistakes and made decisions- decisions which I am happy to say turned out a beautiful life for them, some others felt it didn’t matter and I guess they are fine too. They say we are old fashioned; yes we
are. But that’s only because our reason is different from theirs. They
did it for culture; even religion. We do it for dedication to our
faith. With you, I am hardly fearful; you have made a life of standing
for what you believe is right, even when you stand against the whole
world.  Boss Lady, Your Father salutes you!
Olauluwa my baby! Growing up the child of public figures cannot be
easy and I know it. Being Temi and Desola’s sister probably doesn’t
help; for many this could be an unbearable pressure but not my baby!
You keep slaying left right and centre. I have a concern though. I
fear that you do what is ‘proper’. You do things you think we like. We actually do like them but My darling, you are too young to
make heavy sacrifices for your family. You remind me of a character in
a popular movie in my childhood- The Lion King. The princess got to a
point where she had to ask “If there is so much I must be, Can i still
just be me, the way I am? Can i trust in my own heart or am i just one
part of some big plan?” Well, Olaoluwapemi Farra Amina, daughter of Adekunle. I
tell you today, no plan of anyone- not mine, not your mother’s, not
your sisters can/should supersede your own personal plans. Spread your
wings Sugar, Fly and Soar. Do exactly what you want so far you have
considered it well and reckon it to be right. You can be assured that
in your daddy you will find a smile of love, a twinkle of approval and
a wink of affection.

It will be Valentine’s in a few days. I wrote this letter and planned
that you would read it just before your mother and I return from our
outing. We have news. The Lord has done it! Actually more like The
Lord-Featuring Your Mum and I. You are (finally) getting a baby
Brother!
Love you all, Lovies. Really Really do.

09Feb/16

Dear Father #LettersOfTheHeart

This one time, I’m not writing to ask for money (although if you could spare some 50k, I definitely wouldn’t mind). Wherever on the surface of the earth that you are, I’m writing to let you know that I forgive you.

You and I know there’s a lot to forgive.

FEBRUARY 14, 2006, You bought Mama that cute little Rio she can’t drive anymore because it reminds her too much of you. As the sky turned grey and the sun sank into the clouds, you stood in the garage and swore that as long as breath swirled in your lungs, you would spend your strength loving our mama.

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