It starts with the little lump of heaviness in the chest. Then the lump gets bigger. It rises through your chest and somehow gets to your eyes. The channels open and the tears pour out.
If only we could have a life without pain.
I’m a sucker for happy endings. I love comedies because I want to laugh all through a movie. A lot of people believe when movies have sad endings it’s more realistic. I’m not one of those people. I believe in every story having a happy ending. But then even a ‘happy’ person like myself knows and accepts that life throws curve balls and sometimes sad stuff happens.
The question is, what do you do when you get sad?
My answer: Cry!
That’s probably not the answer you want to hear, I know that’s not what I want to hear. But here’s my point. Crying is not terrible, it’s not a sign of weakness. It does not mean you are lost and hopeless and without a chance. It simply means you are sad. That’s all. Even Jesus wept.
The lesson is learning when to stop crying.
You cannot allow your sadness to take over your life. So you lost a dear person, or you failed an exam or your boy/girlfriend broke up with you, I empathize but you can’t dwell on it too long.
Here’s how to move from sadness to success.
Like I said earlier, it’s not wrong to cry. Express your sadness, shed a few tears, open the tap and let it rain. Don’t spend too long here though.
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY
Don’t reaffirm the sadness. Don’t keep talking and reminding yourself of the reason of your sadness. Don’t say things you don’t mean or will regret later. This is time to remind yourself you have a right to remain silent and anything you say could be used against you.
DON’T LIVE IN DENIAL
Acknowledge the loss and know you have to deal with it. The longer this phase takes, the longer it takes for you to move on. Accept the loss. You hate it, it sucks but it happened.
TRY AND BE LOGICAL
Just try. It is going to be very difficult but try. If you carefully consider your options, you find out you don’t have much reason to stay sad for long. If you lose someone to death, if they’re saved, they’re in heaven – great for them. If they’re not, it’s sad but there’s nothing you can do for them now. If your boy/girlfriend broke up with you, s/he is gone and they probably won’t come back. And even if they will, your long, gloomy and sad face won’t do the job. It will be tough but when you really consider it, you will find that staying sad will not help you. Remember you had your time to cry.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
You experienced some sort of loss but if you check well, there are some part of your life worth rejoicing over. You may have lost your job, but at least you still have your health. Your girl broke up with you but you just got a promotion at work. You lost your dad but you have a loving mother and wonderful siblings. Even in times of sadness, count your blessings.
Of course the ultimate source of joy is God. And his promise that he would be with us always.
REMEMBER YOU WILL BE FINE.
This is the best tactic I use when things don’t go the way I want. I know for sure that my future is great and I will be fine. So you don’t have the job you want, you lost the girl you thought was the one, or your two day old iPhone 6 was stolen, it’s not the end of the world. You’ll get another job or maybe start your own business. You will find another girl/boy and s/he will be the one. You will buy another phone. I will have a fantastic end, God guarantees that.
The sad parts don’t have to define your life. Rise from the ashes of your sadness and find the life you were meant to live. This too shall pass.
Life is too short to spend it sad!