RSVP Episode Six

Felix Umoh

“I had no idea today will turn out like this.” Kike said.
I couldn’t agree with her. I wasn’t sure this was exactly how it would go down but I already had my fears.
“I’ve known them a long time, they were always the best couple everywhere we were.”
“Well, don’t judge a book by its cover.”
“No Felix, it wasn’t just the cover. I opened the pages, this was a great book.” She said.
“Well, apparently there was a page you skipped.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, am I talking about them too much?”
I smiled. “Yeah, a little.”
“It’s just that I never expected…” She looked at me and stopped. “I’m sorry, stopping now.”
“Alright, let’s talk about something else; you.”
“Me? What do want to know about me?”
“Everything, but first; do I have a shot with you?”
She chuckled, a little embarrassed.
Of course I had a shot with her. I’d been with many girls and I could always tell in the first five seconds if I had a chance. But it was good to hear her say it.
“So, answer. Do I stand a chance?”
“Do you think you stand a chance?”
“I believe I do.”
She looked at me for a few seconds then asked. “How do you know Ben and Sharon?”
“You changed the subject.”
“Are you going to answer my question or not?”
“We all went to the same secondary school.”
“Oh.” She said. “Were you close to any of them?”
“I was close to both of them actually.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Ben was my boy from day one but I was closer to Sharon. We had this weird best friend thingy going.”
“Really?” She sat forward in her chair. “I met her right after secondary school, how come she never mentioned you?”
I shrugged
This was a conversation I really didn’t want to have. Not with a girl I was starting to like.
“Don’t give me a shrug, what happened?”
“Nothing really.” I said. “You know, a guy and a girl get too close, stuff happens.”
“Stuff?”
“Yeah and if one of the parties don’t want the stuff, it ends. And usually the separation is as wide as the closeness was close. That make sense?”
“Not really.” She said, then laughed. “It makes a little sense.”
“Can we go back to my earlier question now?”
“So which one of you didn’t want the stuff?”
That was a question I could not answer because it was based on a wrong premise. We both wanted the stuff. Wait, why on earth are we calling this the stuff?
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“My thoughts don’t come that cheap. Maybe a thousand dollars. How much is that in naira now by the way? It’s crazy how the exchange rate fluctuates these days.”
She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, the exchange rate is bonkers, answer my question.”
“Look Kike, it’s all complicated. Can we just leave the past in the past?”
She leaned back in her seat, disappointed.
I sighed, maybe I shouldn’t have come to this wedding.

Olumide Bello

“Officer please, I have a wedding to get to.”
They probably didn’t even hear me. This was one of the worst days of my life. My friend was probably married already, my girl was probably worried about me traveling alone and I was probably going to sleep in this cell for a crime I did not commit. I slapped my palm against the wall, stupid, stupid boy.
“What’s your problem? Will you just shut up and sit.”
I looked behind at the only other occupant of the cell. I’d not paid him much attention since I got in but looking at him now, I knew I should have been worried. He had nothing but a pair of shorts on and he was massive.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you.” I said and hoped to God he would ignore me.
A few seconds passed while I held my breath, hoping he would not say anything.
“Hey.” He said and I jumped.
“Sir?” My voice sounded weak even to me.
“What are you in for?” He asked.
“I didn’t do anything.” I replied.
He chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t do anything too. The girl robbed and raped herself.”
Oh God, he was a rapist.
“So what did you not do?”
I didn’t want to have this conversation, not with him. He raped a woman but what was the guarantee that he didn’t rape men too.
He stood from his chair and walked towards me. I pressed my back against the irons bars, hoping that my some miracle this gorilla of a man will stop advancing. He didn’t stop. He got to me and put his palm behind my head and pulled me towards him.
“Are you going to answer me or what?”
“Hey King Kong, leave the boy.” A cop said behind me.
I’d never been happier to see a policeman in my life. King Kong released my head and went back to his seat.
The policeman opened the door and I got out as fast as I could. He walked me to the counter and handed me all my stuff.
“Am I free to go?” I asked. “What about Anita?”
He didn’t answer.
He pushed a release form to me and I filled it without even reading the content. I walked out of the station feeling gratitude, anger and frustration at the same time. It didn’t matter, I was getting home to Kike with my innocence still intact.
“Hey.” Anita called.
I looked at her and continued walking towards the car.
“Shouldn’t you say thank you?”
I stopped and turned to her. “What?”
“They released you because of me.”
“I was arrested because of you in the first place.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I told them the truth.” She said.
“Oh, you did? I am so grateful to you.” I hissed and started back towards the car.
“Hey, guess what.”
I wasn’t in the mood for whatever she was pulling, I kept on walking.
“Hey.” She called again. “This looks great on my finger, doesn’t it?”
I turned back and looked; she had my proposal ring on her finger.
“Are you crazy?” I shouted
I ran back to her and reached to snatch the ring from her but she pulled back.
“What are you doing?”
“Give that back.” I said.
“Why? It’s beautiful. Expensive too, I imagine.”
“Just give it back.”
“Nope, I will not.” She said.
“Please, I’m proposing to my girlfriend today with that ring.”
“No, you’re not.”
She turned and started to walk back into the station.
“All I did was help you.” I could not believe what was happening.
“All the best with your proposal.”
If I followed her into the police station, there was no guarantee what would happen there. I couldn’t just give up the ring. And the proposal.
I watched her enter the station and a few seconds later an officer emerged.
“Are you harassing Anita?” He asked.
“No.” I said and went into my car.
This was not one of the worst days of my life, it was the worst day of my life.

Sharon almost Dara

“This has been one of the worst days of my life.” I said.
Kike smiled. “We are on our way to your wedding.”
“Yeah, but I faced my biggest fear today; losing Ben.”
“Well, thank God, you didn’t lose him.”
We stayed quiet for a while and enjoyed the soft music playing in the car. I was really getting married to Ben. There were times when I thought it would never happen. I always thought he was too good for me, poor Sharon with all her issues.
“Sharon.” Kike called. “Do you ever think Ben is too good for you?”
“What?”
“I’m just asking because…”
“That was exactly what I was thinking about. You think he is?”
“No. Ben is a great guy but so are you. He’s in love with you, doesn’t that answer the question?”
“So why did you ask then?”
She sighed. “I was thinking about Olumide, for the first time in hours.”
I smiled. “Felix, huh?”
“Yeah.” She said. “I don’t know if I like him that way but…”
“He made you consider your options?”
“And it wasn’t just Felix, it was happened with you guys. Ben heard something that could have changed his mind but he was so sure about you he didn’t.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Let’s say this happened to me and I discovered Olumide was hiding something from me, I don’t know that I would not immediately break off the relationship.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If your dad told you he didn’t like Ben, what would you do?”
“He did say that at a point, I told him I was sure he would change his mind because I wasn’t changing mine.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I was confused. “What are you saying?”
“I wouldn’t have done that for Olumide.”
Oh no, she was going to break up with him?
“Kike, are you sure about this?”
“That’s the problem, I’m not sure about anything. And love is anything but unsure.”
“That’s just a stupid line from a movie Kike.”
The car parked, we were at the church already. Kike came closer to me and hugged me.
“I’m so happy for you dear.” She said.
“I love you Kike.”
“I love you too dear.”
She released me from the hug.
“Kike, can I just tell you something?”
“Yeah, sure.” She said.
“Don’t break up with Olumide because of Felix. He’s not worth it.”

Ben Dara
“No Ben, I’m not worthy of this.” Felix said.
“Shut up and stop behaving like I did when I was announced President of the fellowship.”
“What?” He asked with a chuckle.
“You’re saying ‘I’m not worthy of this’ while in your heart you’re summersaulting in celebration.”
Felix laughed.
“I don’t know where Mayowa is, even if I did, the stupid guy lost the rings. Thanks for finding them by the way.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I could pick one of my groomsmen but I don’t think they’re any better.”
“You know what I just realised Ben, you don’t have many friends.”
I smiled, he was right. Olumide was my only solid friend.
“But who needs friends when you’re about to have a wife, huh?” He said.
“You’re right again.”
“And I have to say, the way you took Sharon back, you earned my respect man.”
“Don’t respect me too much, it wasn’t easy and it still hurts. But I can’t just cancel the wedding because of that.”
“And you love her?”
“Of course, that’s the main reason. I love Sharon with all my heart, nothing was going to get in the way of that.”
“I know that.” He paused for a few seconds then added. “But after everything she told you, I really wasn’t expecting you to want to see me, talk more of asking me to be your best man.”
What was he talking about?
“What?” I said.
“You know, who she lost her virginity to?”
I was starting to sweat. “Yeah?”
“She told you it was my father, didn’t she?”
Blood rushed into my head and for a few seconds I felt dizzy.
“Ben? Ben are you okay?”
“Park the car please.” I whispered.
“Ben, we are already late for the wedding.”
“Park the fuc…” I started then stopped. “Park the car Felix.”
He pulled the car over and looked back at me.
“Ben, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
I looked at him, my face burning with anger.
“Oh my God.” He said. “She didn’t tell you who she did it with?”
He got down from his driving seat and came around the car to my side. He opened the door and I came out.
“Ben…”
I threw a punch at his face before he could say anything else. He stepped back.
“Ben, calm down and listen to me.”
“You calm down and listen to me.” I shouted. “Why did you come to my wedding? You came to ruin it, right? Well congratulations, mission accomplished.”
“What are you talking about Ben? You can’t do this. You said you loved her and nothing was getting in the way of that.”
“Well, something did not get in the way.” I said. “Someone did.”
I threw another punch but he dodged it.
“Calm down Ben. I didn’t do anything. And the next punch you throw will be returned.”
I laughed, paused then threw a punch. He dodged it and just like he promised a punch connected with my nose and I fell to the floor.
I couldn’t believe this, Felix’s father? When did this even happen?
I looked up and saw Felix standing over me, his hand extended to me. I grabbed the hand and he pulled me up.
“Stop this madness Ben.” He said.
“Sure, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Call Sharon and tell her this madness is over.”

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