RSVP Episode Three

Sharon almost Dara

If the look on Kike’s face was anything to go by then there was no point showing up for the wedding. She looked shocked, disappointed, and maybe a little angry. She stood there without saying a word, I couldn’t blame her, what was she supposed to say?
“Sharon,” Finally she talked. “You can’t tell him.”
“What?” That was not what I expected.
“Do you know how shattered he will be?”
“Won’t it be worse if I don’t tell him until he finds out himself?”
“Maybe he won’t notice.”
“What?” What was she talking about? Of course he will notice. “Kike, that makes no sense, of course he will notice.”
“What if you tell him and he calls of the wedding?”
My chest tightened. “It is better than calling off the marriage after one night.”
“My advice is you don’t tell him.”
I stood and paced, the weight of the situation increasing with every step I took.
“So have we concluded, you won’t tell him?”
I stopped and looked at her. “No, I will tell him. I have to tell him.”
“Great.” Kike said. “Of course you have tell him but I wanted you to come to that conclusion yourself.”
“Oh, this is not going to be easy.” I said and the tears began to flow freely again.
She held me and rocked me till the tears stopped. She looked at me and I knew what was coming next, this was the part I wasn’t looking forward to.
“When did this happen?” She asked.
The questions that would follow my confession to Ben was exactly why I’d delayed to this point. When? How? Where? And most importantly, with who?
Oh God, help me.
“Sharon, when did this happen?” Kike asked again.
I heard footsteps running in our direction and saw my sister coming our direction.
“Do you realize how late you’re going to be if you continue whatever nonsense conversation you are having?”
“We are talking about something important.” Kike said.
“Really? Important enough for her to miss her wedding?”
“Maybe.” I said under my breath.
“We’ll be in in a few minutes.” Kike said.
“No, you have to go in now.” Bola said. “I won’t leave till you go inside and finish up. Dad already called for God’s sake.”
“Okay.” I said.
I returned to the room and had my makeup redone. What was the point anyway? We might not even be having a wedding.
“Can you ladies please leave the room?” Kike said.
“No, no way.” Bola said. “Whatever you want to say to her, you say it now or wait till after the wedding.”
Kike shook her head and moved closer to me.
“Your sister is tough.” She said. “So if you’re going to do this, you should probably do it before going to the church.”
I nodded. There was no point going to the church for nothing.
“Bola, I really need some privacy right now, I need to make a call.”
“Okay, I give you five minutes and then we are going to the church.”
“Alright Adolf Hitler, just leave the room.” Kike said.
“You too Kike, I need to do this alone.” I said.
“Okay.” She said. “I’ll be by the door if you need me.”
I watched them all leave, they might not even be needed anymore. I shook my head and dialled Ben’s number.
It was strange that a day that was supposed to be the best day of my life might turned out being the worst.

Ben Dara

“This is actually the best day in my life.”
“Because you’re getting married today?” The elevator girl asked.
“No, because I haven’t laughed this hard at myself ever.”
She smiled. “Really?”
“Yeah. And of course because I am getting married to the love of my life today.”
“Love of your life?” She said and scoffed.
“Yeah, you don’t think she is?”
“Why do you want to know what I think?”
“You just scoffed, of course I want to know what you think.”
She looked at her watch. “This may take a while.”
“So? It’s not like you have a wedding to get to.” But I did. I’ll get to the wedding but I needed to hear what she had to say.
“Okay, let’s seat over there.”
We walked over to a bench beside the security house and sat. Something in my head told me not seat but hey, the spirit of the prophet needs to be subject to the prophet.
“So, let’s hear it.” I said.
“How long have you known her for?”
I smiled, she started with the cheap question. “All my life, we sort of grew up together.”
“So, you’ve been together since secondary school?”
“Officially, University.”
“I see.” That didn’t sound like approval. “How is the sex?”
“The sex?” I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. “It will be good, I’m sure.”
“It will be? You have not…?” She smiled. “It’s none of my business but why?”
“Okay, here’s something you didn’t know about me, We are both Christians and we are saving ourselves for the wedding night.”
“Okay, I have nothing against that.” She said, and I sighed, relieved. Why was I relieved?
“Anything else?”
“Was there someone before her? Ever been in any other relationship?”
“No. It’s kind of why I know she’s the one.”
“Really? Because after checking the one sample, you came to the conclusion that it was the best of all the samples?”
“What?”
“How do you even know she’s the right one, when she’s the only one?”
I chuckled. “You just answered your own question; she’s the only one.”
“Really? It didn’t look like that when you stepped into the elevator a few minutes ago.”
“What are you talking about?” Oh no, she noticed. “Don’t bother to answer that.”
“See?”
It didn’t matter, Sharon was till the one for me. I didn’t need to take multiples samples to know I had the right one. I know Sharon, I trust Sharon.
“I trust her, that’s important right?” I said.
“Trust? You trust your fiancé?”
“Yes, I do. Or do I need multiple samples for that too?”
“No but a man who has gone through multiple samples will know never to trust one.”
I know I can trust Sharon, she’s never lied to me. I know I can trust her. Why do I even care what this girl thinks? I don’t even know her name.

Olumide Bello

“By the time I was done, I realised, she didn’t even know my name.”
I burst into laughter, this was actually a funny joke. I was glad I wasn’t having to fake laughter as I had been doing for more than twenty minutes. I looked at my watch, the officers were having a great time and I actually was too but it was time to leave.
“Officer Horseman…” I said.
The officers burst into laughter.
“I will be telling that story to my friends at the wedding, believe me.” I said.
“Can you please not include that my wife didn’t remember my name too?”
The officers laughed again. I didn’t join them this time.
“So at the wedding…”
“Oh sorry.” Officer Horseman said. “You should be getting to the wedding.”
“Thank you.” I said, more than a tad relieved.
“And good luck with the proposal.”
“Thank you. Well, I hope she remembers my name.”
They started laughing again as I walked away. Well, that took a while but at least it wasn’t all doom and gloom like the other stop.
I got to the car and started the engine. I slid the gear into drive and was about to move when I heard a knock on my window. I looked and saw a girl smiling at me, and Officer Horseman beside her.
I rolled down the window.
“Officer…”
“This is my daughter.”
“Oh.” I was glad I didn’t complete the name. “Okay Officer.”
“She was supposed to ride with me to Ibadan later but she said she was ready to go now.”
“No problem, I’ll give her a ride.”
“Thank you.”
She entered the car, waited until her dad was gone and turned to me.
“Are you a police officer?”
I was surprised. “No, I’m not.”
“Good.” She said and smiled.
“Wait, are you?”
“No. Why would you ask me that?”
“Why did you ask me?”
“Okay, fair enough.”
I turned into the road and we started along on our journey. I didn’t say a word to my passenger and she was content to just stare into space for a while.
Then she turned to me and said. “Can I come with you?”
“Come with me where?”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Ilorin for a wedding.”
“Yes, can I come?”
“No.” I said, a little stronger than was polite. “Why on earth will you want to come with me?”
She sighed and was she tearing up?
“Are you okay?”
“I’m running away from home.”
“What? Why?”
“My dad abuses me.”
I smiled. “Okay, wait a minute. The stuff you guys call abuse, we call discipline. So what if he beats you a few times, our dads beat us and we turned out fine.”
“Oh really, your dad started sleeping with you when you were thirteen too?”
I stepped on the break and pulled over to the side of the road.
“Officer Horseman?”
“Great, he told you that story too? The man is shameless.”
“Oh my God.”
What was I supposed to do here? This was none of my business, I couldn’t take another man’s daughter away from him. Officer Horseman was nice to me but I’m sure that would change fast if he found out I helped his daughter escape. But she wasn’t just his daughter, she was his victim.
“I don’t know about this. I don’t think I can take you to Ilorin.”
“Okay, close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“I can’t run away with your car, you’re in it. Just trust me.”
“Okay.” I felt dumb doing this but I closed my eyes.
A few seconds later… “You can open them now.”
I opened my eyes and I closed them immediately.
“Put on your clothes.” I shouted. “Are you crazy?”
“Okay, okay. I’m desperate, okay?”
“And showing me your… your… and you thought… Okay, I still can’t take you to Ilorin, alright? I’m sorry.”
“Okay, there is an option. Can you drop me off at Ogbomosho?”
“I can’t just drop you off at Ogbomosho.”
“No, my mother’s younger sister lives there.”
“Okay but I have to hand you over to her directly.”
“That’s fine.”
“Alright.”
I started the engine and got back on the road. What on earth was happening to me today?
“Hey, whose ring is this?”
“Oh shoot.”
What was I doing? I had a wedding to get to on time.

Felix Umoh

“Don’t you have a wedding to get to on time?”
Ben turned around and saw me.
“Oh my God Felix.” He said and walked up to greet me. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it.”
“Really? When did I say that?”
“Sharon told me… never mind, I’m glad you are here. How did you know where to find me? Once again, never mind, I’m glad to see you.”
We walked to the girl he was talking to.
“This is my friend, Felix and this is… elevator girl.” He said.
“Elevator girl?” I asked.
“Yeah, I don’t know her name.”
The girl did not seem to mind. Kind of my type of girl.
I didn’t know why Ben was talking to a girl he didn’t know when he was supposed to be getting married in a few minutes. And for the two minutes while I watched them, their conversation looked really intense.
“Is she coming to the wedding?” I whispered into Ben’s ears.
“What wedding?” He asked.
I looked at him, has he gone mad?
“My wedding? Oh no, she’s not coming.”
“Okay.” I said. “Are you coming?”
“Coming where?”
“Your wedding?”
“Oh sure.”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
Whoever this girl was, she was obviously not very good for Ben, I needed to get him very far away from her.
“Can we go back to your room now?” I asked.
“Oh sure.”
“Nice to meet you elevator girl.” I said.
“Yes, I’m so glad we got to…”
“Sure you are glad.” I said and pushed him towards the hotel.
He looked back a couple of times at the girl, what on earth did the girl do to him?
“What is wrong with you Ben?”
“What? Why? I’m fine. And so glad to see you.”
“I’m sure Sharon will be glad you saw me too.” I said. “What was happening with that girl?”
“Nothing was happening. I’m not you Felix, I don’t hook up with girls I meet for the first time.”
“Okay.” Words like that used to be a compliment for me, not today. That stupid roadside girl did something to my head.
We got into the elevator.
“She just opened my eyes to a lot of things I’d never thought about.”
“Really? Like big boobs?”
“Once again, I’m not you.”
“So what could she have possibly told you?”
“It’s not what she told me, more like what she made me realize. Things like trust, the importance of fun, the complexities of sex for two virgins…”
“That girl is a virgin? Wait, she wanted to sleep with you?”
“Once again Felix…”
“You’re not me, I know. What two virgins was she talking about? Oh wait, you and… oh, right.”
“Yeah, that could be really complicated. You remember your first time?”
“Oh yes, long time ago though. So Sharon is a virgin, yeah?”
“Yeah, she is.”
The elevator doors opened and we stepped into his floor.
“And you know this how?”
“She told me.” Ben said. “No, she didn’t really tell me. But she is.”
This was going to be one interesting marriage.
We entered the room.
“Where have you been?” Some guy I didn’t know said to Ben. “Sharon has called you like five times.”
Ben smiled. “She needs to be patient.”
“Do you want to call her back?”
“No, I’ll just see her in church.”
Saint Mary, say a prayer for Ben and Sharon.

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