Dear Daughters #LettersOfTheHeart

A FATHERS WORDS
A(nother) letter to my Lovies
I know what you are thinking, I have written and spoken so much
“Father’s words’. Well, at my last check, it hasn’t killed you; quite
the contrary in fact; so again I write. One letter to three of you,
three letters to each of you-That you may learn lessons from and of
one another. Temi, Desola & Olaolu, I give you (yet again)…A Father’s
Words
Having three daughters is the dream. I remember when I began to moot
the idea and a lot of friends thought it weird, which normal African
man doesn’t want sons? I was lucky. Your mother liked the idea so here
we are; in hindsight, I think it is a great one. But i cannot deny, i
had real fears, how was i going to be able to raise decent young women
in a world that was fast decaying; would I be able to shield them
against the virulent pervasion that was consuming the world; looking
at three of you, I know without a doubt that God’s hands was behind it
all; Incontrovertibly so.
Temiloluwa, you are a pride of a daughter, I can’t stop thanking God
for you. Truth be told, you kind of remind me of your big Uncle Vic.
He was reputed to be everyone’s delight too. The way you organize and
marshal everything, and those awards that you always receive from
school- they really should consider changing Best Student Award to The
Temiloluwa Award. I like David too, that young man you have an eye
for. He is a good chap but I fear that while expecting him to make a
move, you unwittingly push him away. You see, good guys like David are
rare. They combine a mixture of traits that serve advantages and
disadvantages. He is confident but conservative. He is focused and
kind-hearted but most importantly he is sensitive to what you say and
do. I agree with you that he really likes you but i don’t think he
doesn’t know what he wants. You see, the little things you say and
think do not have any meaning get into his mind and make a deposit.
Last week you said what you really wanted to focus on without
distractions was building your global women’s rights group. A man like
David hears that and thinks “maybe she is not ready”. Another time you
teased him about all those his girls- Don’t be surprised he’s thinking
“maybe she just wants to be friends and not be the girl”. I once had a
female friend like that-immediately after secondary school; I liked
her a bit and was considering asking her about a relationship. But she
kept on yapping on how she wasn’t a fan of distance relationships. For
a young man heading off to university, I took that as a hint
(THANKFULLY to be honest) and left that. Years later, I learnt she was
actually expecting me to say something and I didn’t. My point is,
don’t give mixed signals. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I
know you well enough to not bother counselling you to however, not
sell yourself cheap. And if what I see in David’s eyes is what i think
it is, He will wait. And you will have each other. Just don’t make
each other waste time.
Desola, My Iron Lady. Your intolerance for foolishness combined with
the kindness of your heart makes me admire you ALWAYS. You question
anything and everything. The only thing that makes that not scary for
me is that Jesus has captured your heart from the beginning. But you
have friends I have words for. You see in my days, young people
swooned over Hollywood movies. But they made a costly assumption; they
felt Hollywood was a window to the ‘civilised’ society. It was in some
ways, but in others it really wasn’t. Hollywood was the forefront of
moral decadence in the US but they thought it was a reflection of the
general society. So they westernized their morality after the
Hollywood fashion. So much so that chastity became a thing to be
“ashamed” about. Some even took it further to suggest in their
dimension of feminism that it was a ploy to suppress women considering
that men seemed to get away with it. Even the ‘good’ girls started
wanting ‘experienced’ men on their wedding night- I wonder where they
wanted them to receive the experience from. Let your voice continue
to be loud, firm in what you believe. The discipline in waiting brews
a control for staying. Just look around at the divorce rates; see how
much emanated from infidelity. Some from my days felt they had made mistakes and made decisions- decisions which I am happy to say turned out a beautiful life for them, some others felt it didn’t matter and I guess they are fine too. They say we are old fashioned; yes we
are. But that’s only because our reason is different from theirs. They
did it for culture; even religion. We do it for dedication to our
faith. With you, I am hardly fearful; you have made a life of standing
for what you believe is right, even when you stand against the whole
world.  Boss Lady, Your Father salutes you!
Olauluwa my baby! Growing up the child of public figures cannot be
easy and I know it. Being Temi and Desola’s sister probably doesn’t
help; for many this could be an unbearable pressure but not my baby!
You keep slaying left right and centre. I have a concern though. I
fear that you do what is ‘proper’. You do things you think we like. We actually do like them but My darling, you are too young to
make heavy sacrifices for your family. You remind me of a character in
a popular movie in my childhood- The Lion King. The princess got to a
point where she had to ask “If there is so much I must be, Can i still
just be me, the way I am? Can i trust in my own heart or am i just one
part of some big plan?” Well, Olaoluwapemi Farra Amina, daughter of Adekunle. I
tell you today, no plan of anyone- not mine, not your mother’s, not
your sisters can/should supersede your own personal plans. Spread your
wings Sugar, Fly and Soar. Do exactly what you want so far you have
considered it well and reckon it to be right. You can be assured that
in your daddy you will find a smile of love, a twinkle of approval and
a wink of affection.

It will be Valentine’s in a few days. I wrote this letter and planned
that you would read it just before your mother and I return from our
outing. We have news. The Lord has done it! Actually more like The
Lord-Featuring Your Mum and I. You are (finally) getting a baby
Brother!
Love you all, Lovies. Really Really do.

5 thoughts on “Dear Daughters #LettersOfTheHeart

  1. Awwwww, immediately I saw Joshua’s dp, I couldn’t wait for the link to the post, I had to come get it here myself really awesome post…and I envy your daughters already, u even have names for them they’re gonna turn out just great…

  2. *grins* I saw all the colours of emotion all right but with a twist! Well done Kunle! Great site josh! Working quite well. By the way @lordjosh, your girl and boy in a bus story was wonderful, couldn’t comment on the site then.

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