GIRLS AS I SEE THEM #30DaysOfNovember

BY FEMI IRANLOYE

Apologies if this page took a while longer to load than you’re used to- the reason will be obvious in a couple of moments.

I am naturally inclined towards anything art, so it was only normal for me to want to write about that. I was going to write about art- Art, as I see it. This exercise, however has shown me one thing I’m not so good at – Writing. How on earth did I graduate?

Permit me to derail a little further… I was writing about colours, earlier on and I noticed Queen did that brilliantly well. ‘Imagine a world without colours’…she stole that, verbatim. Thumbs up, bestie 😉

All due Twale to my predecessors, Sogo and Adekunle (the pacesetters), without whom I would not have had the strength and courage to embark on this serious something.

Girls, girls, girls….how I see them.

  1. How I see fine girls

1

Fine girls are the spice of life. I mean, imagine there were no fine girls in this life! Ahn ahn!!! Then what will be the point of everything? All the struggle. All the pain. It’s like enduring the rice and finding out there’s no meat. Fine girls bring out the creativity in you

  1. How I see girls with an overkill of makeup (especially when they’re feeling themselves)

2

Ye illegal occupants of the house of Tara, change thine ways, I beg of thee

  1. How I see girls who are artists, dancers, chess players or some other cool kind of geek. Oh! Hem! Geee!

3

I automatically, by default adore such girls. For real

  1. How I see muscular girls

4

No No No. FIT is what you are meant to be. Anything over that is totally unnecessary and absolutely unappreciated

  1. How I see a girl that just has a lorrof money, she can just waste it anyhow (in Falz’ Voice)

5

*music* Oooohhhh glory. This is the kind of healthy relationship our parents always wanted for us.

Primary school days, we learnt that the opposite of boy is girl. This has always puzzled me. Opposite? I think that there lies the fundamental reason why girls are largely antagonistic to the male species. Those uncles and aunts have successfully planted it in the susceptible minds of these our beautiful ladies that we are at war. Plix o, we love you.

*notice how I quickly chipped ‘beautiful’ in after ‘susceptible’ there ;)*

I think we should start a movement to sue every single school that teaches her pupils that the opposite of girl is boy. This is basically saying that if one is good, then the other is bad. Right? Well me I know guys are good sha. I can’t say anything further.

It’s never just about the good looks when it comes to girls though. The charm, they say is what gets the attention. What you do with the attention you get is another ball game on its own. The deception that comes with their physical appearance is what caused man to take a bite out of that apple. Just imagine… we could have all been running around naked in the Garden of Eden. Such bliss!

When you meet a girl with beauty, brains and heart (and I have met a couple of them in my sojourn on this wonderful planet), you can’t help but be intrigued. You willingly surrender your mumu button to girls like that. If she loves God and has a good relationship with her father, THAT is wife material right there. 1000 yards of it. NEVER let her go. NEVER

For some weird reason, I have this feeling that if women were not in this world, the word ‘blackmail’ would not exist. I don’t know

  1. How I see endowed girls

6

We all need to have something we can always fall back on.

How I see ‘Miss Independent’ girls

7

In my opinion, there’s absolutely nothing sexier than that

  1. How I see girls who I think have a crush on me

8

*winks*

Girls are known to be the emotional counterparts of a logical male. What I’m saying is- in general, don’t try to reason logically with a girl. However, when you unavoidably need to, start with telling them how beautiful they are. ‘ease’ into it. We still love you ladies. Keezeees.

I’m extremely curious about a lot of things when it comes to girls:

When we’re speaking the same language, are we speaking the same language? This is a stuff that really get me confused sometimes.

Do you actually truly believe that we are mind readers? Please answer sincerely

When we ask you what the problem is and you say ‘nothing’, why do you call us insensitive for dropping the matter?

How can extra fat in some places be a bad thing and an awesome thing at the same time, in other places?

Why do you say things like ‘You are the man, it’s your responsibility’ when things go south, but when everything is smooth, you remember that ‘What a man can do, a woman can do better’?

Why do you shave your eyebrows off, just to paint the area? You don’t see guys painting a beard on now, do you?

Please if you have any answer(s) to any of these questions (or have more questions of your own), kindly drop it(them) in the comment area. You are blessed as you do so.

Girls. We can’t fully understand them. But we just can’t do without them. Behind every successful man… is a laptop with good internet connection

DISCLAIMER: I, Iranloye Oluwafemi Michael cannot be held accountable for anything stated (or implied) above. You do not know me. You never heard from me. This post does not exist. God bless you.

LORD JOSH’S NOTE: Femi is completely on his own, if you want to shoot him, I can give you his address. God bless you and your family.

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