A SHOT IN THE FOOT AS I SEE IT #30DaysOfNovember

By Timileyin Ologunde

It was time for chapel and as usual the hostel porters did what they do best; annoyingly chase everyone with the annoying “ding-dong” noise of their antique bells. Amidst the premium time rush, clash of the titans and the stench of humanity, I made my way to the chapel. My intention was to do the same thing everyone did during chapel services (popularly termed ‘church was awesome!’). I sat among my friends and tried as much as possible to allow the mellow of the church Organ take my mind on a little wonder. Then I looked to the door and there I saw this amazingly beautiful, tall and fair lady who gracefully walked into the place of worship. And for a moment just as in the Rolls Royce wraith advert, ‘the whole world stood still’. I couldn’t get my eyes off her. And as she took carefully measured steps into the chapel, I could feel my heart beat and for a moment in time, everything felt right!

Behold the damsel possessed all the qualities anyone would want in a lady. ‘Church was awesome’ was surely not an option anymore as all through worship I stared at her every moment I had the chance. Then began the war of ‘who is taller’ in my mind. I loved tall ladies, but my manly pride wouldn’t allow me have anything serious with ladies who are blessed with the grace of good clearance from the ground.

I looked at my watch periodically, I couldn’t wait for worship to be over. There was just something right about this lady and I just wanted to know what it was. The two-hour service felt like it took forever and at long last there came the last item on the program which was the recessional hymn. Meticulously the choir recessed, immediately followed by the officiating ministers and principal officers, and as it is the usual practice of students, once the stage was empty the race to the door began.

I sat down waiting to get a final look at her beautiful face, and then I made the most wonderful discovery. She was friends with a friend of mine. I immediately summoned my friend to inquire of her, the name of this young damsel whose emblem mesmerized me. I got the answer to my question and then we parted ways.

Even tides fell, and with the thoughts of this lady who had made my day without saying a word running through my mind. I once again called on our mutual friend and got her BBM pin. It took a couple of days for this to happen and when it finally did, it was time to set up a meeting. Oh how I hate odd conversations. So I began to rehearse what and what I would say, I must guide against all sorts of eccentricities. The long awaited day finally came and she agreed to meet.

And meet we did. Despite all my practice I was too shy to look her straight in the eyes, but I managed to keep my head above my shoulders, concentrating on the smell of her perfume. I daydreamed as I spoke to her and more than half of what she said actually went with the wind, I was too carried away. When we were done, I so wished I could get just a hug from her, but I thought to myself,’ wouldn’t that be too much to ask?’

I returned to my friends grinning from ear to ear. I couldn’t explain the reason behind the happiness which had just suddenly over whelmed me.

But then I thought to myself, I cannot be more than friends with this amiable lady. I cannot handle the heart breaking response ‘NO!’ after several attempts at winning her heart. So I stopped before I even started. I forgot that the answer does not come before the question. I went back to ‘church is awesome’ and other activities that made up my boring school life.

Today in times of pain I rest in the not-so-reassuring mantra – que sera sera. And like many others, I let an opportunity pass without even making an attempt at it. I picked the gun, put out my foot, aimed and pulled the trigger. Get out of my way, I want to scream.

P.S It’s Timileyin’s birthday today and his Dad’s too (that doesn’t happen very often). Show him some love and wish them a happy birthday.

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