Today, I put on my badge of courage
I dare to speak on a matter at best whispered in the closets of men
For far too long, men and women have suffered this
The subjugation, repression and depression of their ability to choose
I stand in the Place of Martin Luther the reformer,
I rise as a Nelson Mandela,
I am tired like Rosa Parks,
I will no longer be silent in the mould of Rev ML King
Today I rise against……………wait for it
Yes, Jollof Rice!
And Pounded Yam
And Pizza, Cupcakes, Cinema popcorn and every other compulsion society has so cruelly bequeathed upon the Nigerian (And perhaps the Human race)
I rise against the phenomenon of FOOD BULLYING
There seems to be an endless conversation about the life-saving deliciousness of Jollof Rice, even assuming international debating levels as to who owns this ‘divine’ recipe between Nigeria and Ghana.
So let me break it to society today, We Really Don’t Care!!!
Rice is good food. Jollof is good. But that’s what it is. It doesn’t take you one inch away from reality more than Boiled yam and Palm Oil does.
It was in the Primary 6 upstairs classroom of St Joseph’s Nursery and Pry School, Well I remember
The matter was how we all (conveniently) seemed to dislike Amala, that glory inducing smooth ball
Of course, not every one really disliked Amala, in fact, I suspect, for many it was probably their ‘Christmas delicacy’ but since it was fashionable to dislike ‘that black thing’, they joined the bandwagon but the Lord, our Savior was in the house. He stirred the heart of Dedun –a millionaire’s kid (there were no billionaires those days, that we knew of) to proclaim how much she loved Amala and how it was her best food and BAM! The Shackles of Amala hatred fell!
Free at last, Free at last! Redemption came. Folks could now declare their long suppressed affection for the Black ball. I know that tears of joy must have fallen that day, in the hearts of the underground Amala association.
Say what you will, I still believe the proliferation of love for amala that exists today owes its existence to that fateful afternoon
( I should add here though, I genuinely did not like Amala and up till now, there are some soups that I cannot take it with. Story for another day)
But what is my point, people gush over things, our friends, sometimes family, that we know to be tasteless or even bitter but we cannot seem to make our position known.
Pounded yam is good. Nice, but no rule says you can’t prefer Eba and proudly order it in the midst of friends (Okay, that one is a joke 😀 )
But Seriously,Cupcakes are sweet but they are definitely certainly NOT the next best thing since sliced bread-which is not even the best thing ever.
I mean, who really likes that chicken they sell in KFC? When I want to eat meat, I want meat. Not meat Wearing Army Desert Uniform!
Popcorn in Cinema aggravates me. Does eating maize make the movie more interesting? It’s probably why I don’t like the whole idea of cinema even. Asides, the novelty of watching a new movie, who does not know that that sound is too loud? But no, we’ll keep quiet and act as though we enjoy it instead of us to go home, shut the windows, cook indomie or something and move around while we enjoy a good time with friends
So is alcohol. That bitter smelly substance. I once did a mini survey, most people tasted their first booze in secondary school, at which point many considered it either too bitter or tasteless or too hot for the throat
But it appears cool to drink, so we endure……urghhh
IF MY MESSAGE IS SINKING IN, YOU ARE PROBABLY LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW
OR LIKE THIS IF YOU ARE OF THE HARDENED ONES
I watched a show once. In it, four friends –old men! went to the woods every year. One year, there was an accident and one blurted out that he didn’t really like the annual event. One after the other, they began to confess how they all didn’t like it but partook in it, strenuously I might add, because they believed that the others did.
A woman once made a very wise statement via a character in her book
“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends”
Speak out on the things you don’t like today especially the things your friends assumeyou alln collectively enjoy. No one is going to kill you- or rather, no one is LIKELY to kill you for buying bread to eat instead of cupcakes. It’s a free world. Live your own life; Make your own way!
- The content of the above piece is valid for all things in life except for the two food items which fried plantain and Ponmo.
ATTEMPTS TO GO AGAINST THOSE TWO WILL EARN A PENALTY OF LIFE IMPRISONMENT, CLEAR?
- If you really feel bad about about what I wrote, I will like to state clearly for all legal and vengeful purposes that it is actually Lord Josh that published this. Hence he gets the ALL the Flak. And death threats, if any
SHOULD KINDLY BE REFERRED TO HIS MIGHTY LORDSHIP
3. This Article is likely to tarnish the writer’s reputation of being a highly serious minded individual. You probably noticed with my decision to submit for this piece one of my most serious looking pictures. To reset your opinions to default mode and reinforce your long held correct positions, follow @adekunleth on Twitter and you will not be disappointed